Work

"I have no fear of drowning. It's the breathing that's taking all this work"
Those are lyrics from a Jars of Clay song. I am not sure what they meant to say in the first place because drowning makes me think of letting go and that is not always that easy. I would think that if I were drowning I would fight like mad. I guess at some point you give up and yes, sometimes giving up can be pretty easy to do. Giving up is actually a lot easier than the last part which says this to me. "It's the breathing that's taking all this work..." - the ebb and flow of life that takes work. Not giving up.

I have been confronted with lots of relationship issues of late. Relationships that are dear to me. Some lost relationships.

I have been confronted with others relationships and how they are dealing with them. And what I am finding is that they are hard. They take work. They take love. Holy Cow, they take more love than I personally think I have. Well, of course it takes more than I have. I have to depend on God's love to get me through them.

I think God's intention is for us to live in community. Genesis tells us this: So God created human beings[c] in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Then again he finds that Adam is alone and needs a companion. He creates Eve. ( Gen 2:18) Why does he need a companion? I mean he has everything he could possibly want! God does not think it is good that he is alone.

I love my friendships. I love my relationship with my husband, family and kids. But the truth is that they are both rewarding and difficult at the same time. We have different backgrounds, different perceptions of life and sometimes making those mesh is just a pain. I have to admit that in the past and even a little now, I feel like running from the ones that get hard. What I am finding is that I can't run. I have to get messy with people and talk and work it out. Work.

My father in law talks about marriage in this way. It is a series of hills and valleys. Sometimes the relationship is on top of the hill and all is well. You are drowning in the love of each other, in sync with each other - life is good. And then there are the times that the marriage is in the valley - nothing seems to be good. The times in between are climbing back up the hill - work. It seems a lot of time is spent here.

Another friend who was experiencing some difficulties in a relationship said this and I thought it was pretty cool. She finally just had to let go of the control of a situation to God and she said this, "It's amazing how that works, when you release everything to God! The thing is that we have to continually do that, because we tend to always want to take over. God often puts us in these kinds of situations with other people to refine our relationship skills, patience, grace, and so many more attributes. We just have to allow Him to!" Wow - very mature.

I am not sure if God actually puts us in the situations as much as he ALLOWS them to happen so we can refine those fruits of patience, grace, understanding, love - all those things needed to be in relationship.

And sometimes - some relationships just don't have any room to be reconciled. For me this is hard. I don't like people not to like me. So, it is hard when someone severes a relationship with me. I find it hard to let go of it. In my mind, shouldn't all relationships be reconciled somehow? I mean, maybe a couple that divorces over a serious issue cannot be married again, but can't they eventually forgive and be friends. Can't friends that have a disagreement over the values they hold dear, eventually at least acknowledge the friendship they once had. Agree on the values they do share? Be friends again?