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When I picked Bubby up from preschool the other day his teacher whispered something he said to me.
She told me that he said to another kid while they were play fighting, "I'm gonna kill you."
Ouch.
So I apologized and ASSURED her that we do not kill anything at all at our home. I even went so far to explain how we relocated the mouse we recently found in our garage to the field next to our house. And how when we had squirrels in our house, we called someone to get them out and relocate those to far far away place.
Spiders, ladybugs, moths - all get a second chance outside for us.
Oh, yeah there was that snake...but it was a copperhead and it really freaked me out. It was necessary to kill that thing.
We don't even own a gun.
We wouldn't even know what to do with one.
We don't hunt. Not that I think it is a bad thing, we just don't do it.
We don't really even talk about where our meat comes from.
By this time carpool in front of me is way gone and she is just staring at me. "Okay, we'll talk about it - thank you! "
So, I did lay down the law a bit more this week. I had a little chat with Bubby that we cannot say that to people and we need to treat them with love. He told me he was just pretending and playing like they were a bad guy. I responded that I understood this but we definitely did not need to say it in school and so on and so forth. You get my drift.
Then I scanned the shows he watches a little more carefully and have limited his TV viewing even more. The video games are now off limits until Dad gets home and then only for a short time. (Even the E for Everyone rated ones have some fighting in them which bugs me a little bit.)
Really it hasn't been so hard this week because it has been so warm outside.
Anyway, I am so glad we have this under control now.
So, do you think I should be worried to find this by our front door?
It's a toy.
(Just as a little FYI here - his Grandmother bought him that gun. Yes, I am sooo blaming you for this, Mom. ;) As a matter of fact, she buys him any plastic gun, knife, ninja sword that he wants. It looks like we are training for the special forces in the playroom.)
So, should I be worried? Really? For real? Boys will be boys? Or place some more limits?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Should I Be Worried?
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Kids and Family
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10 comments:
Well, you are two years ahead of me with the boy stuff, but I know we'll face this stuff soon. Since I can't speak from experience yet, all I can do is give opinion.... After reading Wild at Heart years ago, before I had John, I decided that I too would allow guns, swords, etc. I think it's just the way boys are wired. God designed them to want to be fighters and protecters of good. I think you did the right thing by telling him not to talk about killing. But I think your "boys will be boys" comment is right, too. :) I'll be coming to you for more boy advice the next year or two! :)
Janel,
No, don't worry! Boys can and will make guns from anything. I've seen lego guns, stick guns, finger guns.
As long as we keep telling them not to shoot people! Not even for pretend. Easier said than done, trust me.
Knowing you and your family, I wouldn't worry!
I would not be worried boys will be boys and it is in their blood to say and do things like this. You have instilled kindess and shown love to them and I wouldn't worry about it. I think you did the right thing.
Janel...it's ALL good. We will sit and have coffee...we can talk about these boys we have...I do have a few years on you with boys (I so don't like even typing that)...mine being 14 and 12 (I think I don't like typing that even more...ugh they are growing too fast!). But you are fine...you are a great mom...and that little guy of yours is awesome...and will always be! Coffee on your deck or mine???
I'm a teacher, and my advice is: keep talking. Keep the lines of communication open. As long as your kiddo keeps his fascinations in the right place (playing games, hunting), he'll be very healthy emotionally.
I agree with the comments - boys will make guns out of anything they find. I don't understand it but they do. We've also had a discussion about throwing around the word kill at school and how it's not appropriate. So true, boys will be boys.
My daughter said that to my other daughter and I think I remember my dad saying it to em in my teen years as well... All of my friends with boys say they constantly make anything into a gun or weapon.. it must be an evolutionary thing!
I walked out of WalMart at Christmas with two Nerf Vulcans (basically machine guns), extra Nerf ammo and four Western cap guns...I USED to be a no-guns mom, but many of these ladies are right. They'll even bite their PB&J into a gun! I say join in the fun...my boys LOVE when I'm weilding a Nerf gun. It makes them laugh and then the intensity is moved to a lighter level!
Oh, thank you ladies for your support, encouragement and input. I don't know how I would ever do this mothering thing without other moms.
You complete me.
I went through this with my 9 year old earlier in the school year. I was mortified at first and beside myself. But after giving it some thought, he's a boy and that's what boys do.
Don't be too worried. In my case I knew that my son would never do such a thing and really had to stress to him about things not to say at school or in the presence of others. If him and his buddies are playing a video game, thats one thing. But at school, its upsetting to others.
I did have him write a letter to his teacher and the principal apologizing for his behavior. He closed it by saying that he was most sorry because he disappointed Jesus with his actions. I knew he understood what I was saying after that because I didn't even bring Jesus into our conversation.
Good luck! No doubt there is more to come with BOYS!
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