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That's my girl.
She gets excited about being in every activity she can.
Hmmmmmmm.
I wonder where she gets that?
I'm hearing Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" playing in my head right now. Oh, I guess that's kind of a rock ballad isn't it. ANYway...
She does get it honestly - I'm so like that. I often over commit and then freak out because I've over-committed. Not because I can't say NO. Really, I don't have issues saying NO anymore. I just get so excited to be a part of too many things. I love to be around people and activity.
She seems to be the same way - just not wanting to miss a thing. The problem is that she wants to be in everything but doesn't quite get that she has to PRACTICE after she commits to these activities. She has to rehearse. Rehearse and practice and not spend time trying to get to level 6 on Mario Bros.
So, with the first full week of school starting up, we have been preparing for:
- The Talent Show at school - practicing and rehearsals her dance she choreographed herself.
- Bible Quiz on Saturday with Awana. We have to practice this every night right now. But wow, she can memorize some scripture! I wish I had 1/4 of this kids brain power to memorize God's word. This is the time to tuck it in their hearts for sure. But I digress...
- 4 ongoing dance classes
- Piano - lesson once a week and practice every day
- Not to mention, multiplication tables, spelling homework and trying to get 30 minutes of reading in each day..
- Oh, and my attempt to get her to have at least 20 minutes of some "unstructured" outside activity each day.
- Even Sunday, the day of rest, she is up before the rest of us getting ready to be at church an hour early because she is part of the elementary worship team.
- The other day she told me that she wants to start Tae Kwon Do with her brother and maybe start a tumbling class so she can get prepared to be a cheerleader in middle school (which is 2 1/2 years away) Yeah, because she needs one more thing to do right now. My answer has been a clear NO to both of these recent requests. See, I can say No.
- Clean your room, brush your teeth, pick up your coat and shoes,be in bed early, put down the DS, turn out the light...
It's no wonder her "attitude" has reached a new level this week. I had to take the DS away.
But I fear I let her do too much. That some of it is my fault. Should I have said NO to something more, even though she really wanted to?
Is it because I don't want her to miss a thing, too? sigh.
Maybe.
What's a mama to do? These are the questions I ask myself. I let the guilt creep in. If I'd said No - there might be guilt. If I say yes, there is guilt. Can I win at this?
Most of the time she handles it all in stride. (Me too) I guess the Talent Show and Bible Quiz will be over soon and she will be back to a more normal schedule. Maybe just the addition of those two things and being back in school this week have exhausted her.
So, tell me. How do you handle a child that wants to do everything? Just wait until you run out of money? I'm kidding. Seriously, I'd love to hear how you handle your child's desire to do it all. Let's discuss.
3 comments:
Well, we have really struggled with this over the years. We want to give our kids opportunities to pursue what they are passionate about. I guess that's where we draw the line. We let them do what they REALLY love, and thats it. I HAVE felt guilty saying no to the other activities they've requested (gymnastics and dance...) but for us, horse riding and guitar lessons are enough. I think Clara would be good at gymnastics, but another activity isn't an option, and they know that they have to choose. If they pursue something different, they have to give up something else. Our pocketbooks and our sanity demand that we keep things within reason! Plus, I do think kids really need some downtime. I'm sure you're doing a great job with B. Think she's like you just a little?? ;)
OH Gosh this is hard. When my girls were younger my rule was one school activity and one sport at a time. That's it. My kids didn't do music(I tried). For my girls it was always a club or choir at school and sports!! They both began playing competitively by age 9 or 10. Those sports take up a a lot of time and yes money.
Now the girls are in HS and if cost isn't an issue I let them do their own thing. Grades are #1, and the rest falls into place.
Nick is involved with a service club at school that tutors younger kids once a week. He does one sport per season.
For us this works, also because with 3 kids our time and money is thinner.
One of my biggest concerns is always that we try to eat dinner together as many nights as possible.
You and B will find the right mix.
I love how you said that it's not that you can't say no, but more that you are excited to be a part of everything. I do the same thing and wear myself out. Then I back out of a bunch of stuff and get bored. Sometimes I think I'm a resident on the crazy train.
I wish I could offer advice on limiting B's activities while not making her miss out on anything. My girls are still young enough that we can limit them to just dance and they are completely fine with that.
I'll check back with you in a couple of years when I find myself asking the same question you're asking now. :) Good luck!
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