One Word For 2010

 

sur⋅ren⋅der

–verb (used with object)

1.

to yield (something) to the possession or power of another

I'm not even sure where to begin with the way this word should be defined in my own life because I can't just pinpoint it to one area.   It seems that somewhere in my younger life, I learned about another little not so little word - CONTROL.   I think when I moved away from my small town to a big city, I found myself in a situation where I could be in complete control of what happened in my life.  Or so I thought.  I do know that trying to be in control my environment and the people around me in some strange way became very comfortable to me.

I think it's hard to determine what we actually have control of in this life. (It's not much, y'all.)  We have the power to say no to over-scheduling our lives.  We control what our children do to a certain degree.  We control how healthy we eat ...or don't.   We are and should be in control of our own actions with other human beings.

It's the things in which I have no control that I struggle with.   My husband.  Our financial security.  My children when they are away from me.   My mother.  My brother.  Other people in general.    I don't think I intentionally seek to control those people.   I just like it when I know they are doing what I think is best for them.  ;)

I think it boils down to one thing, though.  Wanting to control comes from a lack of trust.   Initially and on the surface, it may look like it's a mistrust for that person.  For instance, if Hubby and I are having a conversation about one thing or another and I get upset because he is not really bending my way, then it looks to him like I don't trust him.  But ultimately, the bigger picture here is that I am not trusting God.  I'm not trusting His authority in my life.    

So, that's why this is my word for 2010.   Trying to control so much in my life and those around me is not working for me anymore.  I find that the areas I am not surrendering to God are the areas that I do not have peace and peace comes from God.    Amazingly enough, when I surrender an area to God, I feel peace.  And when I do not, well, let's just say - it's a long and winding road.

I've known for awhile that Surrender would be my word for this year.  I've been reading a little book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  In the book, he really challenged me with questions like Do you want to see God more than you want security? (what else could I possibly find security in?)   What have I chosen over Him time and time again?   (What have I chosen?)

Then yesterday at church, our pastor talked about new year's resolutions.  I'm sure many pastors talked about this yesterday.    I felt like his unique challenge was this - When I look back on 2010,  will I look on it as a year of deeper growth and intimacy with Christ?     I can tell you without doubt and with regret that 2009 was not that kind of year.    2009 was a year where many things did not go as planned and instead of having faith in God, I found myself doubting and often depressed. 

Reading further in my book, Chan reminds the reader that in Hebrews 11:6 we are told that genuine intimacy with God comes from full surrender to God and that full surrender cannot come without faith.   In Luke 9:3, Jesus sends his disciples out with nothing for their journey - wanting them to trust only in God.  To look to the Father for all of their needs just like he does.  

Chan goes on to say just how hard this is because it really goes against all we know to do.   We are programmed to make our plans.  To save our money.  To have faith in those things.  Then like a bomb in our otherwise comfortable and planned life  - a recession hits, job loss comes, an unexpected new baby develops, an accident happens that comes with huge medical bills.  Life does not always go as planned.    If you are like me and like to control, when things don't go as planned the fall is hard.

What kind of new year could I have if I surrendered all the things I try to control, having faith that any fall I might have would be straight into the strong arms of a God who is very much in control?

I'm hoping and praying to find out.

Okay,  your turn!  Did you think of a word?  Leave it in the comments and or link to your post.