Keep Dancing

Some of you know what my job is because I go to church with you and I work on Sundays at church.  For those of you that don't - I work on Sundays at my church.   My job is to work with an amazing team of volunteers that are there to make our church the welcoming and warm place that it is.  It may look like we are just parking cars and handing out bulletins when in fact, we are so much more!

There is a lot to remember, a lot to do and the day just flies by as I work with the different teams, welcome guests and spend time with volunteers.   It is an energizing day for me actually.  

I have to admit something, though -  just between you and me. 

I often feel like I didn't do enough.   Sometimes I even feel like I failed at my job.  I look back on the day and I think, "I could have done that better." Or "I missed that!"

It didn't really occur to me that I thought this way until I was having a conversation with my B.  She's getting ready for a talent show and has choreographed a 3 minute dance routine.   She dances all the time and is in several recitals a year.   She's a pro! 

Anyway, she was rehearsing for me and after she finished she became very critical of her performance.  She was saying things like, "I could have done that better."  And,  "I missed that!"

It hurts me because all I see is this amazing dance!  I don't even notice the one thing she missed or the move that she needs to work on.  I see my beautiful child who prepared for and remembered 3 minutes of choreographed moves! I am almost always moved to tears as I watch her dance. Even when she was just 3 years old!   She has grown into this beautiful young dancer who finds so much pleasure in doing it.

You know, I'm pretty sure God feels the same way about me on a Sunday.  I bet he doesn't even notice the things I missed or could have done better.  I'll bet he is so excited at how I prepare and dance through the whole day.

It probably hurts him to hear me criticize myself so much.  And when you get right down to it -  I'm focusing on my own performance and not Him.  I'm pretty sure that's a little thing called Pride.  It comes in  many forms doesn't it?