Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Real Deal

As I was looking back on some past blog posts last night, I realized that my blog looks pretty happy. Well, I mean that my life looks pretty happy because of my blog posts.
It's full of cute stories and pictures of my kids, photos of my flowers, memes, product reviews and fun links.

I do strive for it to be an encouraging place for you to stop by. I want you to feel good when you leave. I guess I really don't want you to see the yuck that sometimes happens in my life - that often happens in my life. I just don't want to burden you with that.

To be perfectly honest, though - my life is pretty dang happy.

PLEASE don't see this as bragging or tooting my own happy horn, but rather my acknowledgment of how thankful I am and should be. Because I don't always recognize it. I often don't remember to be thankful for this life.

But, I am truly a blessed woman in so many ways.

I have a hard working, generous and loving husband. He basically gives me whatever my heart desires. He loves me and takes great care of our family. The years with him have been the best of my life.

I have 2 great kids. Smart as they can be. No issues or real challenges. They are almost always polite, very sweet and lots of fun. I find great delight in them.

I enjoy close relationships with both of our extended families.

Our church- awesome.

Our friends - incredible.

Our neighborhood - utopia.

So, what's the real deal? What am I not showing you?

When I scrapbook or place photos in an album, I don't put pictures of the hard times in there. Well, for that matter, I don't take pictures of the hard times.

For instance, I don't have a disagreement with my husband in front of his parents and photograph that for the family album. Or blog about it.

I don't run for the camera when my 4 year old won't change his clothes for his sister's recital and throws an all out living tantrum in front of his grandparents. And I certainly don't start snapping photos of myself when I throw a tantrum right back at him because he won't do what I want.

I didn't pull out the video camera to film the young girl asking for money for a bus ticket outside of the parking garage after the recital.

And I hope no one was recording me as I cried in church on Sunday because my pastor spoke of grace and how desperately I needed to hear what he said.

I want to share the happy times of my life with you. And to be even more honest - the happy times are the ones I want to see when I open up our family album or my blog. In the long run, 20 years from now - the silly disagreements and tantrums won't even be worth remembering.

I just don't want you to think that what I share on this blog is all my life is about. That I don't have challenges in my relationships and that I am not the biggest fool sometimes. Oh my, am I the biggest fool sometimes!

I shared on another blogger's comments yesterday what my prayer has been the last month or so.

To let go. To just let go of how I think life should go and to look
to God to see what he wants my life to look like

I am a fool because I have this "photograph" in my mind of what life should look like and I often try to conform and control events and people to fit into that picture.

The crazy thing? I most often find that my life looks nothing like what I think it should.

When I stop looking at everything I want and all that God wants for my life and all that he has provided, I find that my life is more full than I can even fathom in my own mind.

It's there I find the real joy because it is there where I find peace in all situations. Because the real deal is that life is both happy and not so happy at times. It is just where you are focusing that will make a difference.

And the real me? I just keep finding her the more I focus on God. I am actually starting to like her. ;)

So, I choose to show you the happy. Like dandelions, I choose to see the flower and not the weed. The real deal is that while unhappy times happen, I don't want to dwell there.


Kim said...

Oh, I so agree.

A commenter once mentioned that my rants (all two or three of them) are her favorite posts.

It is hard for me to come up with rants unless something really gets me going, and even then I work hard to find a positive spin 'cause dwelling in the yuck feels...well, yucky!

You go, Girl!

THE ROOST said...

Great thought and SO true!

Debye said...

Inspiring true! Letting go is something I pray about often as well.

The Mom said...

Your last paragraph...

So, I choose to show you the happy. Like dandelions, I choose to see the flower and not the weed. The real deal is that while unhappy times happen, I don't want to dwell there.

I can totally see that. When I have the down stuff..I try to post something funny on my my therapy to get through it. Sometimes, like tomorrow, I post true feelings that NEED to get out on paper (typed).

FABULOUS post Janel!

Beachy Mimi said...

Good post. Thanks!

Amy said...

Hey Janel,

Just stopping by to say hey! Good post there neighbor!

Keep letting go and letting God!!

carrie said...

great post, Janel. I think we all have a lot more to be thankful for than we know.

and I'm also trying to make my life look a certain way in my mind, and have to remember that it is what it is and i need to accept that.

Anonymous said...

Just happend to have found your blog and glad that I did. What a wonderful post you shared! It is so true thanks.

ali said...

Well said!

Janel said...

Thanks ladies, for all of your supportive and encouraging comments!

D-Ann said...

I love this post.. :)

Megan O. said...

Your blog popped up on mine through adoptic and I just wanted to let you know I'd stopped by. Thanks for this post-- it was a good reminder to learn and grow from the "yuck" and not just stay in it.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin