Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Door of My Lips - Sunday Word

The title of this post is actually part of a verse from the bible.  A verse that is written on a bright yellow notecard and taped by my computer.

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.  psm 141:3NIV

Keep watch over the door of my lips - I love that.

It's a reminder that much like my mouth, I choose to open a door.  Or close it.   

Anyway, I keep the card by my computer as a daily reminder that what comes from my mouth can heal others but that it can also hurt.  I fear know that many of the words that have passed through my lips have caused as much damage as they have comfort. 

I just have one of those personalities.  You know the one - speaking before thinking and wanting to take the words back as soon as they escape your mouth.

Plain and simply put, I just talk too much. 

I'm getting better at thinking before I speak.   I don't know if it's getting older or just conviction.  It may be the fact that I have learned to quite literally bite my tongue instead of speaking.   I hope it's more conviction, though.  I'd like to think I've learned by my mistakes.  Believe me, there have been many.

I also recognize that I've experienced enough healing from the kind words of others that I want mine to do the same.  I know that when others tell me that something I said comforted them, it makes me thankful I paused long enough to choose the right words.

There is a page in my bible that is literally covered with every verse about the tongue.  I've referred to it over and over through the years.  My true hope here is that God's word is finally sinking through.

So back to this little yellow card taped by my computer.   Sometime ago, our pastor talked about this verse above and listed some questions we could ask ourselves before we speak.   They have been ever so helpful for me so I thought I'd share them with you.  

  • Is what I'm about to say helpful?
  • Is it going to build up or tear down? 
  • Is it going to benefit those who listen?
  • Am I talking to the right person?  
These work especially well with my family.  Often the worst of words come from my lips to those I love the most.   What I sometimes think of as discipline or as a suggestion come off as just plain nagging.  

The last one is actually my favorite.   It's a reminder to talk to God first.   One thing I think I'm pretty good at is complaining.   We all gotta be good at something, right?   James 3:5 reminds us that complaining is usually dangerous and destructive.    My intention is never to be those things.  It actually hurts my heart to imagine causing that to anyone in my life.   So, I try to pray first.  Not to complain but to share my heart.  Okay, maybe to complain sometimes.  He is big enough to listen to my complaint.  But it's not long in my conversation with God that I end up thanking him for something and have forgotten about my complaint.    So, by the time I reach the person in which I have my complaint, I'm pretty much over it.

Tuesday on What I Learned This Week, I think I'm going to talk a little more about complaining and what I've learned through leading others.   Tune in then.

I don't usually say much more than a verse that is on my heart on my little Sunday Word posts.  But today my heart wanted me to write this out.    Mostly, as just a reminder to myself.   

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Snow Day!

Woo Hoo!  A Snow Day in North Carolina!  
Our pantry is filled from our mad dash to the store.
We've parked our cars with no place to go.
Our little world comes to a stop with even church closed.
An unexpected day of rest with family and fun with friends,
Where warm cookies and hot chocolate rule.

 We're ready to go Mom and Dad! 

Hubby is not a fan of the cold.  Can you tell?
 Okay mom, take the picture so I can go!!!!!

 I always love a house covered in snow.


The mail still is delivered!  Yay, USPS!!!

So, it looks like we got about 3 inches here in our neck of the woods.  Mixed with quite a bit of ice.  We are staying put for a couple days.   How about you?

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Friday, January 29, 2010

Hubby On YouTube

I cannot even watch this without giggling like a little school girl. He is just so cute.

He did this video for BNI (Business Networking Intl.) last year sometime just to let people know a little more about our business.   Anyway...since, it's on YouTube, I thought I could share it here.  ;) 

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What's In My Make-Up Bag?


What's In My Make-Up Bag?  Well, I know you are just dying to know!  Pretty much on the edge of your seat all week, I bet.  

Anyway, you can find out over at Chic Critique.  Don't forget to link up your own post on Monday's Carnival (at Chic Critique) to be entered into a giveaway!  
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One Busy B

That's my girl.

She gets excited about being in every activity she can.


I wonder where she gets that?

I'm hearing Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" playing in my head right now.   Oh, I guess that's kind of a rock ballad isn't it.  ANYway...

She does get it honestly -  I'm so like that.  I often over commit and then freak out because I've over-committed.  Not because I can't say NO.  Really, I don't have issues saying NO anymore.  I just get so excited to be a part of too many things.  I love to be around people and activity. 

She seems to be the same way - just not wanting to miss a thing.  The problem is that she wants to be in everything but doesn't quite get that she has to PRACTICE after she commits to these activities.  She has to rehearse.   Rehearse and practice and not spend time trying to get to level 6 on Mario Bros.

So, with the first full week of school starting up, we have been preparing for:

  • The Talent Show at school - practicing and rehearsals her dance she choreographed herself.  
  • Bible Quiz on Saturday with Awana.  We have to practice this every night right now.  But wow, she can memorize some scripture! I wish I had 1/4 of this kids brain power to memorize God's word. This is the time to tuck it in their hearts for sure. But I digress...
  • 4 ongoing dance classes
  • Piano - lesson once a week and practice every day
  • Not to mention, multiplication tables, spelling homework and trying to get 30 minutes of reading in each day.. 

  • Oh, and my attempt to get her to have at least 20 minutes of some "unstructured" outside activity each day.
  • Even Sunday, the day of rest, she is up before the rest of us getting ready to be at church an hour early because she is part of the elementary worship team.  
  • The other day she told me that she wants to start Tae Kwon Do with her brother and maybe start a tumbling class so she can get prepared to be a cheerleader in middle school (which is 2 1/2 years away) Yeah, because she needs one more thing to do right now.  My answer has been a clear NO to both of these recent requests.   See, I can say No. 
  • Clean your room, brush your teeth, pick up your coat and shoes,be in bed early, put down the DS, turn out the light...
Her busy little life wears me out some days.

It's no wonder her "attitude" has reached a new level this week.    I had to take the DS away.

But I fear I let her do too much.    That some of it is my fault.  Should I have said NO to something more, even though she really wanted to? 

Is it because I don't want her to miss a thing, too?  sigh.

What's a mama to do?  These are the questions I ask myself.  I let the guilt creep in.  If I'd said No - there might be guilt.  If I say yes, there is guilt.  Can I win at this?

 Most of the time she handles it all in stride.  (Me too)  I guess the Talent Show and Bible Quiz will be over soon and she will be back to a more normal schedule.  Maybe just the addition of those two things and being back in school this week have exhausted her.    

So, tell me.  How do you handle a child that wants to do everything?     Just wait until you run out of money?  I'm kidding.  Seriously, I'd love to hear how you handle your child's desire to do it all.    Let's discuss. 
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Your Hands

This is probably my very favorite song right now. I love JJ Heller's voice. I love that she plays music with her husband. I love the words to this song. Love Love Love it.

Anyway, just wanted to share. I'm off to get the CD this week with a coupon!

What song are you love love loving right now?

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tea Time

I was organizing some pictures today.  It seems like organizing things that don't require me to move too much are my speed right now.  I vacuumed and felt like the wind was just knocked right out of me.  I honestly just do not remember being this tired with my first two pregnancies.  Of course, I was younger.  I think that must make a difference.

Anyway, again with the pregnancy talk. Sorry.  It kinda seems to be dominating my thoughts.

So, I was looking through some photos that I took in January during track out.  One day my daughter decided to throw us a tea party.  She made the tea, the food and set the table.  It was a nice treat and something fun to do when the weather outside is frightful.  It was so cold that day.  Well, it's been the coldest January in North Carolina that I've experienced since living here for 12 years.   Anyway, before I get going on the weather...the tea party. 

The menu:  Christmas cookie, banana bread, melon, pastrami & cheese on rye and chocolate
Yum!  I can't even believe I had all of that in the house!

B and I painted this little tea set when she was about 3. 
I think I had to drink about 10 of these cups to equal a real cup of tea.

His father will be proud.

My sweet and thoughtful B - The budding hostess.

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Morning Walks, Be Bands and Forgiveness - What I Learned This Week

 Even though my brain does not seem to be hitting on all cylinders, I learned just a few things this past week

  • Putting my son in Tae Kwon Do finally (as he reminds me) was a great move.  He asks to go every single day and loves his time there.  I can see it on his face how much fun he is having. 

  •  Taking a walk in the cool morning air helps morning sickness to subside for awhile.  So do potato chips.  

  • Having one pair of maternity jeans hiding in the back of your closet that did not sell at a consignment sale is a big score!  Especially on Sunday morning when you are trying to find something to wear to church and NOTHING else fits around your waist anymore.  

  • Going to a church that dresses casually is a blessing.  

By the way, I found these at Target - Be Bands.  I did not have them with my other pregnancies and I have to say that I love them.  They really do help this weird transition of "before maternity clothes but can't fit into your regular clothes."  I paid for these, nobody asked me to tell you how awesome they are, I just want to share my opinion.

  • It doesn't matter how much you want someone to change or see the light in a situation.  They have to want it.  Anger and fear can literally consume a heart that does not belong to God.  And even one that does has a hard time dealing with those emotions in a healthy way.   So, I just pray for changed hearts.  I pray for the others involved - that their hearts be protected through the wreckage of unforgiveness and retribution.     I pray that I love and not judge.  What else can a friend do?
What did you learn this week?
 Check out more lessons over at Musings of A Housewife

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Monday, January 25, 2010

What's In Your Make-Up Bag? All Week at Chic Critique

Okay, so lots of fun over at Chic Critique this week!   We're having a carnival all week and it's about the really important stuff in life. You know, your make-up!!!     Anyway, if you want a fun break this week and need a post, link up to Chic Critique.  These ladies will be talking about their favorite cosmetics - things they use every single day.  Things that are tried and true. Things they can't live without.

Check it out all week.  I post on Friday.  Not that it will be nearly as exciting as what you will see all week, but if you want to check mine out that's when it will be! 

What's In Your Make-Up Bag?  All Week at Chic Critique

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Okay, I Guess I Kinda Like It

I would have something posted nice and early for you this morning but I was watching the game late last night.  Bah Ha Ha!  Sorry, those who really know me, know how funny that is.   I.Don't.Watch. Football.

Here's the thing.  I've tried over the years to adapt.  My best friend from high school is a huge fan.  She actually was the one to teach me what a first down is.  I attended a high school where the football team were state champs.   I lived in Dallas for 6 years and yes, I did attend games.   I am surrounded by people that love football.   Even my 5 year old son is starting to love it. 

So, I've played along.  But not because I remotely even understand love football, the game.  I have some other reasons why I tolerate enjoy it. 

  • I went to my high school games because that is where everybody went.  I was on the pep squad and what else would a 17 year old girl be doing on a Friday night when the rest of the town was at the stadium?  And yes, I do mean town - it was a small one. 

  • I went to the Cowboys games because I lived in Dallas and well, it was pretty cool to be inside Texas Stadium.  Even if it wasn't the new bajillion dollar new one.  

  • Because I love the town of New Orleans, I'm glad they will have this opportunity.
  • Because I think it's cool that brothers both play in the NFL right now.
  • Because of stories like Kurt Warner's and Brett Farve's.
  • Because of tailgating.
  • Because of Superbowl commercials.
  • Because of Superbowl food. 
  • Because some football players actually do some good with the kajillion dollar salaries they pull in.
  • Because the people I'm with usually like football and I like being with them.

Here are some recent tailgating photos where I had a lot of fun because of the people.  And I got to dress my kids up in Panthers gear.  That was fun.  Okay, so there is another one - Because of the fan gear.   I've always been about the outfit, though. 

So, I guess I can concede (Hubby, are you listening?) that some good actually does come out of football and there are some things I like about it.   It's just that none of them actually involve the game.  Okay, women football fans - convince me some more.  We still have to get through the Superbowl around here. 

Bubby looks so over-joyed to have to stop hanging on his favorite cousin long enough for me to take this picture.  B is just happy to have her favorite food - Brats.  Can you tell?  

This is probably one of my favorite photos of Hubby and his big brother ever.  Hubby on the left.  Big Bro on the right - in charge of the grill. 

In other news, I have to brag on my Hubby who cleaned our bathroom yesterday because I cannot handle the fumes (of the cleaner, not the bathroom). I promise you that was not an easy task.   After church he also had to work for a couple hours, went to the grocery store, made dinner (chili, which I was craving), cleaned the bathroom, cleaned up dinner, took the kids and dog for a walk and then put them to bed.  All while I laid on the couch complaining about my "morning" sickness and football taking up my precious prime time TV.   Yeah, I know - I'm kinda of a spoiled brat. Y'all will pray for me, right? 

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Morning Sickness Not Reserved To Morning

I really do not want this to become the blog about pregnancy.

It might, though.

I mean since I'm pregnant and all.

And it seems to be the only thing I can really think about lately.

Morning Sickness.

Let's talk about this a little.
Ick. Ick. Ick.

Did you have it? 

I've had it with all three of my pregnancies. My first was really just in the morning. I had certain food aversions but mostly, if I ate in the morning, I could handle the rest of the day.

My second pregnancy proved to be a little different with morning sickness not being reserved to just the morning.  I was sick the whole day but especially at night.   I had many food aversions but could not stop eating the foods I loved.

This one is worse than both but similar to the second  in that it lasts all day, which leads me to think it's another boy.   I wonder if the sickness is worse because I am older and more tired.  Maybe.

I cannot even touch or eat chicken right now.  I crave cheeseburgers like there is not going to be any left tomorrow.   Potatoes in any form are a hit.  Raspberry and lime sorbets make me happy.    Salads.  I really could just eat pounds of salad.

Oh, it's lunchtime, isn't it?

I wanted to share something that has provided a TON of relief for me, though.  You know, just in case you are feeling the same way or know someone who is.

My friend gave me one.  I am telling you about it because if I had known about this and how much better it would make me feel, I would have paid the $135 that it costs.    It is designed for motion sickness but really helps with morning sickness, too.    Life Saver.  That's all I have to say 'bout that.

Okay, I'm off.  Remember, it's lunchtime! 

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Natural Mascara Not A Fave - Chic Critque Review

Check out why a natural mascara turns out not to be a favorite of mine. 
I'm posting over at Chic Critique today about Almay's Pure Blends Volumizing Mascara

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

This is MY Chair

This is MY chair.

For 10 years, I have sat in this chair every single night to watch TV or read or whatever.  If you look closely, you can see how worn  it is.   For those 10 years, my little white dog, Buddy,  has sat in that exact spot - right beside me, every night.   For the record, he weighs 6 little pounds and does not shed.

My new brown dog, Elmo, is none too happy about the fact that there is not room for him on this chair.   He actually paws at Buddy to get him to move so that he can take that spot. 

I shoo him away to his own bed.  I feel a little bad for him but he is 38 pounds and sheds on my furniture.  A dog mommy must have some boundaries.

Like a good puppy, he obeys...that is until I get up from my chair.

THANK YOU for all of your incredibly sweet and encouraging comments yesterday!  You cannot even know how good they made me feel.     You all are the best!!!

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Sound That Stopped My World

I was not particularly excited for the doctor visit I was about to go on.    I just hadn't quite wrapped my head around this newest situation.

The last time I visited this office, it was to talk about a permanent solution to not having any more children.  I had determined that after the holidays, it was the direction I would go.   My youngest is 5, I'm almost 40 - I resolved that 2 children was apparently our plan. 

Then came some squeamish events that involved eggs and chicken.  I knew something was amiss.

One, Two, Three tests confirmed.  I was pregnant indeed.

The thoughts that swirled around in my head are too many to write here.

Just a few...

  • With two miscarriages,you just don't dare get excited.
  • This baby is due around my 40th birthday.  I'm just too old to have another baby.
  • We don't have enough room in our house.
  • I'm just not equipped to be a mother to 3 kids.

I will tell you, and maybe it will turn you away from reading my blog forever, but I will tell you that excitement was nowhere in my vocabulary for what was happening to me.   I prayed for faith.  I prayed for trust.  I prayed for no morning sickness.

Well, the morning sickness came in full force and that told me that this pregnancy was not like my last.    Which leads me back to this visit with my OB.  I knew he would be doing an ultrasound.  The last one I had when I was 8 weeks pregnant, showed a baby with no heartbeat.  That was almost 2 years ago.

The absence of a heartbeat?  The silence is deafening. 

So, it was with great hesitation and much anxiety that I headed into this appointment.

As my doctor and I talked about Christmas preparations and things like the weather, he began my ultrasound.

And then.

A sound like no other.

A steady, strong heartbeat.

A healthy baby #3 for me.

I saw the little heart flutter.    He (or she)  measured just exactly where he (or she) should.

Then just like that faith, hope and trust flooded my heart.  I didn't know how we would fit in our house or what kind of mom I would be to three kids.    I just know that the sound of a little beating heart stopped my world right then and it really didn't matter.

I wrote that post the day I got my first ultrasound around 8 weeks.  Yesterday, I went for another ultrasound that would leave me feeling confident enough to tell the world that we are going to have another baby, or at least the part of the world that reads this blog.   I am almost 12 weeks along and this baby is due ON my 40th birthday.  ON my 40th birthday.   Crazy, I tell you.

The ultrasound revealed a very healthy baby and the doctor is super-confident we are past a first trimester miscarriage which is good news.   I have to say that it was not until yesterday that I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief and feel the first bit of excitement.   I still do not know how I am going to mother 3 kids but I guess we'll just cross that bridge when we get there!

We told the kids.  They are beyond excited, kissing my belly and already planning out our entire family future.  My oldest is excited that she will be moving her bedroom to what is now our bonus room (we have two bonus rooms thank goodness) and my son is excited that he can teach this baby to swim.  I have no idea where that came from. 

So, there you go - that will probably be the biggest news you ever hear on this blog!  

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sacrificial Giving

This story of a unemployed Portland man giving $20,000 to the effort in Haiti blows me away. To give so much when he has so little is truly an example of living from his heart.

I have to admit that I was a little moved by Bragelina giving $1 Million to Doctors Without Borders. That's a lot of money to give.  They've given more than many huge corporations.   I heard today that Madonna is giving $250,000.  My first thought was how nice that was and then I hate to admit it was... Really? Do you think $250,000 is actually sacrificial in the bank account of Madonna?  

I know, I know - I'm judging.   I am - I admit it.    Not good and certainly not where I want my heart to be.  

So, I'm just going celebrate a man who gave sacrificially.  A man who gave beyond his means.  A lesson to me to do the same.  I loved what he had to say, 

“Tragedy does happen to other people you know," Wilson said, "and it may happen to me but you know I believe you try to do the best you can and things work out in life you know? I just try to be a good person, that's all."

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Hope For Haiti Fundraiser Event

***Local Readers***
If you are planning to dine out this weekend, make tomorrow night the night!     Plan a night out and help the earthquake victims of Haiti.  See below. 

Hope For Haiti Fundraiser Event
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Oxford Gastropub, Downtown Raleigh
(located on Fayetteville St, next to ABC11, across from Courthouse)
3:00pm – until close…

Live Music featuring Hope Community Church's favorite band: Band of Brothers!! Josh Long and his trio will be playing a set in between!

$5 suggested donation at the door

Silent Auction + Raffle all day and night!

Auction Items so far:
  • o Hurricanes Stanley Cup Hockey Puck
  • o Piece of the Cameron Indoor Stadium original floor
  • o Angus Bar: $500 4 Person All inclusive dinner at the Captain’s Table
  • o $150 Gift Card to The Mint
  • o Primp Salonbar: 3 Tinis + Toes packages ($200 value), $50 gift bag of product
  • o Gold’s Gym: Two year-long memberships with personal trainer($750 value for each)
  • o Hurricane’s Hockey Game private suite for up to 6 people at the RBC Center
  • o Flowers & More Valentine’s Arrangement
  • o One Night stay in Renaissance Hotel in North Hills, with breakfast
  • o $100 Saks 5th Ave gift card
  • o Melting Pot dinner for 6! ($300 value)
  • o Fuhgeddaboutit Super Bowl Party Package
  • o $150 Sono gift card
  • o Sono Special 8 course meal for two "coupon", valid for a meal personally cooked, prepared, and served by owner/chef Mike Lee
  • o Jill's Beach Tanning & Salon: Tanning Session Packages
  • o Yamaha Guitar ($800 value)
  • o 2000 Mondavi magnum (courtesy Mutual Distributing)
  • o 2004 Twomey Merlot (courtesy Mutual Distributing)
  • o 2005 Tolosa Pinot Noir magnum (courtesy Mutual Distributing)
  • o 2006 Graffigna Malbec magnum (courtesy Mutual Distributing)
  • o Artwork from Adrienne Taylor
  • o Glo Di Vie - $100 Gift Card
  • o Bonefish Grill - Two 25$ gift certificates
  • o DJ Mixing Station (value $200)

**Hope For Haiti Foundation is so thankful for the support of the local community. The Triangle is a wonderful place and we appreciate the support of the businesses and people that are so willing to support the Haitian people.


Running Friday, Saturday, Sunday
$50 Donation = $10 gift card
$100 Donation = $25 gift card
$200 Donation = $75 gift card

10% of sales from all three restaurants on Sunday, January 17 will go to Hope For Haiti Foundation

The Oxford is located at 319 Fayetteville St, Raleigh NC
Sono is located at 319 Fayetteville St, Raleigh NC
Mura is located at 4121 Main at North Hills, Raleigh NC

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Let the Temperature Rise!

So, this is not an official diagnosis.

I haven't seen a doctor about it but I'm pretty sure the cold weather is bad for my emotional health.   I pretty much hibernate.  I watch a lot of TV, lay around a lot more and pine away for a warm spring breeze.

I try to keep my house clean - it helps. I keep plenty of birdfood in the feeders to see the bright colors of the Cardinals and woodpeckers. I listen to music that I love. I pray and read my bible. I still get sad, though. It's almost as if I have to force myself to get things done.

But once the mercury starts to rise, so does my mood.   Just being outside today made me want to start gardening. Of course, I know it's too early to do that but I was able to do some clean up around the yard.  I  trimmed back bushes, picked up doggie-doo from the yard, took the lights out of the bushes (they've been off for two weeks - just not removed) and swept out the garage.  I even cleaned out my van. Wow.  Basically, a winter of trash and the kids belongings came out of my vehicle today.  

But oh it feels so good!

So, I say let the temperature rise!   Enough Winter.   Too much to ask on January 14?

Also, I need to state here on the blog that I officially love my 12 year old Kenmore washer.  Why?  Because it's working now!  It was broken early in the week.  I did dream just a little bit about a new one but really was relieved when the serviceman came out and fixed it all for $60! 

I'm happy to see the weekend come even though with the kids tracked out, it seems like we've been on one long 4-week weekend.     No big plans except to hopefully go to a fundraiser at the Oxford Restaurant for the earthquake in Haiti.

Our Worship Director and some of our band have another band called the Band of Brothers.  They play classic rock - and they play it well.   Some of the best covers you will ever hear.  The $5 cover goes straight to the Hope for Haiti Foundation and 10% of the sales from the Oxford, Sona and Mura restaurants on Sunday will go to the foundation as well.    So, if you eat out this weekend, make it on Sunday and go to one of these restaurants to help this good cause. 

Check out the link here.
Maybe I'll see you there!

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men and women to do nothing.
~ Edmund Burke

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Help Haiti

By now you are aware of the devastation in Haiti.  As a world watches an already deeply impoverished country try to dig through what is now rubble, the call for help is loud.  And it should be clear.  We all need to help in some way.  But how?  Where?

For the next 24 hours it is said to be crucial that they find any remaining survivors.   I know that I will be praying that the search and rescue find as many survivors as possible.   Pray for more survivors.  Pray they stay strong and they are found soon.  Pray for the search and rescue workers.

My very own church dedicates much of our mission focus to Haiti.  Our Global Hope Director is from Haiti and has founded the Hope For Haiti Foundation.   We have a team that was getting ready to depart to Haiti for medical and construction in hospital we just purchased.  When they will be able to depart for Haiti is unclear now.  

We will be donating to the rescue and relief effort through our church and Compassion International since we sponsor a child through them. 

You can provide relief through Compassion International right now - Just go RIGHT HERE.  
Other places to donate are your own local church, the Red Cross or World Vision.    
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Chic Critique Makeover and Tagline Contest

Chic Critique is getting a make-over and you get to be a part of it!
We need a new tagline and would love for you to help decide what that will be.

Head on over there and leave your creative ideas.  Thanks a bunch!
Chic Critique Makeover

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Monday, January 11, 2010

Finding Part-Time Work is Not As Easy As I Thought It Would Be

I always thought that when my kids went to school I would get a part-time job.   It seemed like the logical thing to do.    I put it off for awhile (since July) but finally I got excited at the opportunity to make enough money to maybe buy extras for myself and the kids.  Or pay for groceries or a bill once and awhile.

So, I started the task of looking for a job outside of my home after being out of the real workforce for almost 10 years.   During a time when the unemployment rate is hovering at  around 10%.   Yeah, it's not working out so well.  My local grocery store never even called me back. 

First of all, EVERYTHING is online now.  You almost cannot talk to a real person unless they love what they see on your application and call you.  An application - it's not like you get to write them an essay about how great of a person you are - it's fill in the blank. 

I really feel for people in careers that are trying to find full-time jobs.  I watched something on PBS recently where this man who had been an expert in his field for 20+ years, lost his job and was looking for a new one.  He had to hire someone to help him write an resume just to get a call back.  The best job right now seems to be the one who coaches people through the application and interview process.   With so many applicants, companies can be as picky as they want.

Anyway, I finally got a call back from a well-known department store make-up company.   So, I met with the person who would be my boss and we really hit it off.  The job was very flexible with great pay and I felt certain I was going to get it. As a matter of fact, I actually told people I already had it  - that is how confident I was. 

However, I first had to go through a personality based interview by phone.   I know the questions are based to help them find the right person for the job but seriously, I found most of the interview to be ridiculous.  One of the questions was, "Are you an honest person?"   Um, yeah.  Like I'd answer no if I wasn't?     Anyway, after the interview, I felt pretty certain I was not getting this job.

This is why.  Many of the questions were based on how many sales you would drive to this company.   Like, "Do you consider yourself a salesperson?"   Now, I can honestly say that almost every single job I've had in my life has involved sales.   I was a Corporate Sales Manager for a hotel chain in Dallas, TX.  I have sold real estate and cookware through in-home demonstration.  I have sold shoes, clothes, perfume and food and wine.  And quite possibly, the hardest of them all - trying to sell peas to a two year old.  But I do not consider myself a salesperson.  I have always considered myself as someone who becomes educated about my product or field and helps people make buying decisions.  I make friends when I help them buy a product that I am selling.   They refer me and come back to see me.  They remember me not as a salesperson but rather as someone who was helpful, honest and trustworthy.   That was my answer to that question.

Another question was based on what my career path goals were with this company.
I'm looking for a part-time job here, people.  Not a new career.  I told them as much (nicely) and stated that my family is my priority.    I also added that as my children grow older, I might consider a new career but for the time being, I was very interested in the part-time flexible job for which I was applying.

The last question that I remember and I'm really not sure what they thought about this.  I will say there was total silence on the other end when I answered.  "What is the one thing you would stand up for no matter what?"  Or something along those lines.   Without skipping a beat my answer was God.

So there you go.  I answered a personality based interview with three main ideas.
Integrity or Trustworthiness

I did not get the job.  The woman who originally interviewed me was shocked.  She is the one redeeming and wonderful part of this whole experience.

While I was a little hurt at first, I'm now at peace.  Some things have changed for me since I began a job search,  I'm all about surrendering this year and I know that God has a very good reason why he did not want me to have that job.   And frankly, why would I want to work for a company that is obviously more interested in making sales than hiring people with a moral compass.  I am savvy enough to know that had I lied through parts of that interview, I would have gotten the job.  I knew the answers they wanted and I very easily could have given them those answers.  I chose to be honest. 

I would do the same all over again.  You just can't replace integrity.

One very good lesson came out of this particular job interview, though.   If you think the sales person at the make-up counter is trying to sell you something you really don't need - she probably is.

For More Lessons Learned This Week head on over to it's guest appearance on  From Inmates to Playmates. 

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Happy Monday!

That was weird.

I could not get into my blog this whole morning.  I have to tell you it worried me a little bit as it seems like I have my life recorded here! Which leads me to ponder the issue of not having this thing backed up. How do you even do that?

Anyway, we are enjoying easing into the new year around here.  No school for another week and a half, but activities are in full swing.  Hubby has been sick.  It has been cold and mostly we hibernated.  But the weekend turned out to be a little more active. 

Anyway, here is a recap of sorts! How was your weekend?  I'd love to know what made you happy or not so happy. 

Things That Made Me Happy This Week:

  • Finding one last red Swedish Fish at the bottom of the bag.
  • Hubby cooking dinner, not once, but twice - two nights in a row.
  • My dog graduating from obedience training.
  • Watching my kids at the Lego Store (for short periods of time).
  • My son making me a homemade snowflake.
  • A great message on Sunday from our pastor.
  • Snuggles with my kids.
  • Watching movies with the family.
  • Fresh popped popcorn.
  • Birthdays of three of my favorite peeps, MIL, brother and niece - Happy Birthday!
  • Hubby getting over Bronchitis
  • A long visit from a good friend and her sweet baby girl.
  • Tea parties.
  • The temperature outside rising.

Things I Don't Really Understand:

  • How my kids can spend hour and a half at the Lego store.
  • How KFC can be out of chicken at 6 pm on a Friday night.
  • Bridezilla on
  • Little Miss Perfect on
  • Cold weather.
  • Why some grown-ups can't just communicate like grown-ups.
  • My son's sudden fear of our house catching on fire.
  • Why my house is so dusty in the winter even after I dust.

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Friday, January 8, 2010

Instant Buffed Nails at Chic Critique

Need a quick fix for your dry brittle winter nails? Read my thoughts on how to get instant buffed nails at Chic Critique.

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Lego Mom

My son got A LOT of Legos for Christmas.  Since he got to stay up until Midnight on New Year's Eve he spent most of the night building various things with his new toys.  This was my favorite, of course.   

He built me.  With a sombrero and a flower.  Actually, he says that is my hair with a flower.     His only request was that I place this on my nightstand.   No problem,  Buddy.  I'll save it forever.  Or until you need those little arm thingies as antennae for another project. 
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