What I Learned THIS week!

When I was blogging a lot, I use to participate in a little bloggy carnival at Musings of a Housewife called What I Learned This Week. I loved reflecting on the past week's life lessons and reading about others. Sometimes about faith, others about raising kids and some just simple silly missteps along the way.


While taking a morning walk today, I reflected on what a frustrating week I had and thought maybe I could salvage it by chalking it up to growth!    So, here's my very own version of  What I Learned this Week! 

Humility is everything. A lesson that bites me often when I am least expecting it. It's really simple. I seldom, if ever, am without fault in a disagreement or situation. Even when all signs point to me being right, if I look hard enough I can usually find a reason how the other person might have felt hurt. I find that by saying, "Did I do something to hurt you?" and a sincere apology tear down many walls and lead to pretty quick reconciliation. The feeling of restoration in a relationship is a much better feeling than being right.   I just don't always know that until after it's been restored. :)

If humility is everything, communication has got to be a close second. Reply to that email, return that phone call, tell someone something even if you thought you already did, if you don't hear a response - try them again. Lack of response can communicate that you do not seem to care.   Do your part to communicate.  

Try to know a person's heart.  Intention, while should not be used as an excuse, goes a long way. I think that if you know a person's heart, ie: what is important to them, where they are hurting and what is going on in their life then it's easier to not take how they may be acting at the moment so personally.

Wait until next week. If you are feeling like making a big decision that could significantly change your future - Stop, pray, wait and get some advice. Making life changing decisions while hyped up on emotions is never a good idea.

Why are the lessons that seem so easy always the ones that I seem to keep learning the hard way?

2010 Blog Recap

This thing still on?
Yes, I'm actually blogging. My keyboard keys are a little rusty even but here I go.

While I don't see myself blogging on a daily basis anymore,  I did want to recap my 2010. I like to reflect on the year past as a way to grow from it.   I also think the blog recap at Musings of a Housewife is fun and I have the day off so...here goes.

The first post of each month of 2010 and the first line of that post.   It is also linked up if you want to click over on that post. 

January -One Word
sur⋅ren⋅der
–verb (used with object)

1.

to yield (something) to the possession or power of another

Oh, this is where I pick my word of the year.  It was truly a year of surrendering.  Over and over.  And it was not easy.  I hate to be a downer but sometimes yielding to where God is leading you is just hard.  It took (and continues) more faith than I knew I even had.   I'll be doing this again soon with my word for 2011.


February - Complaining -What I Learned This Week
I wrote a bit bout complaining this past Sunday.

Still struggle with this.  Maybe my personality lends itself to always struggle with this.  This post really follows another post that is linked up there.   This was good to reflect on for sure. 

March - Duke Basketball Game

Whenever I tell someone (mostly men) where I live, I am often asked the question of which college team I show my allegiance to.

Oh this was fun!  Someone gave us tickets to a Duke Basketball game.  Great photos here! 


Oh and because I just can't resist - on March 3 we learned that our baby was going to be a BOY!



April - Oh Glorious Day!  
Just a video of a Casting Crowns song that I love.  Worth listening to.  :)


May - Freedom
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.    - Romans 8:1


Just a Sunday Word post.   But a cornerstone of my faith for sure.



June - Same Always
I have to say that there has just been so much change in my life lately, I don't even know how to begin blogging about it.

It seems that this time of the year was really the beginning of me not blogging on a regular basis.  This is a pretty good explanation of why and this was before the Baby T was even born.   My life is very different now.  No longer a full-time stay at home mom.  Mom to 3.   The change has been both so awesome (baby and job) and at times so challenging.   Good thing one thing never changes.



July - Happy July 4th!
Normally, we are at the beach over the 4th.

Oh, here are some fun pictures.  Boy it was hot this summer.  And this is just one more reminder that I did not get to go to the beach with my family this year.  :(



August -Welcome Sweet Baby Boy!
What more can I say?  Our Baby T was born on July 30.  Here are the first pictures of him.  He's changed our life in amazing and beautiful ways.  What a gift.

September - Life in Full Swing.  How do you Manage?
Life is in full swing here..

Full swing is just an understatement.  Still looking for ideas on how to efficiently manage my life.   I'm starting to get a hold on it but I have to say that I've been busier than I've ever been in my life.  Full of awesome activities, friends and family - but WHEW!

October - Thankful for Today, Hope for Tomorrow
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

It's good to look back on this last year and see many of my posts were focused on scripture.  It's hard to look back on this last year and know that I was clinging on to them for dear life some days.  God is so faithful, y'all.

November - Mercy
Another Casting Crowns song.   And the only post of November.
It's a great album, by the way.  Probably my anthem album for 2010 - Until the Whole World Hears.

December - 2010 Recap.
This is it.  The only post in December.  Wow.

I am looking forward to posting some new photos and updating my friends and family with the blog this year.  I do like to archive my life this way since I don't scrapbook anymore.  Eventually, I'd like to take my favorite posts and even make them into a book for my family to enjoy one day.  I expect my writing will be few and far between.  Life is just too busy.  I've got a couple drafts I'd like to finish up and publish.   We'll see.

I hope you have an awesome New Year's Eve and had a very Merry Christmas!

Complaining -What I Learned This Week

I wrote a bit bout complaining this past Sunday. There I talked about a reminder in James of how complaining can be dangerous and destructive.  

Boy howdy, can it ever.

The question is can complaining ever be productive?   Something happened last week that had me pondering this question.  So, I thought I'd share my thoughts and where I finally ended up. 


Over the years, I've had the honor of leading different groups at my church like MOPS, our Ladies Morning bible study and coaching small group leaders. Often my role is as the liaison between the staff at my church and those I've been entrusted to lead.   I find myself in an interesting position as I often listen to the concerns of those in my groups and try to address them by sharing the vision of the church, acting as a buffer of sorts.  

Anyway, whether you lead in your church, your school, your work or your neighborhood you will find that the people you are working with will share concerns about one thing or another.  I'm just going to call it like it is, though - most of the time you will be listening to people complain.  And as a leader, you will most likely have a few complaints of your own. 

Not that it matters much but I'm going to share a list of synonyms for complain from Dictionary.com.

• The slang Jewish word for complaining it is kvetch.   I've heard that word used among girlfriends a lot.

• There's bemoan, oppose, take exception to or disagree. 

•  Getting it out.  Venting your feelings.    and many many more...

 Honestly, I don't think I ever thought of any of those words or ideas as complaining.    

We do it innocently really.  Maybe something just doesn't feel right to us or it goes against what we know.  Often we are doing it to just to bounce an issue off of another friend.   I know that for me, I find myself complaining when I want to be assured I'm right or when I feel an injustice about something.   While I normally embrace change pretty well, I sometimes find myself complaining when I am caught off guard by the change.

That's what happened last week - a big change in something I'm involved in.  I was not prepared for it and before I stopped to listen to the vision behind the change, I had a whole list of complaints.  Thank heavens, I finally ended up surrendering those complaints before I voiced them.  

It was a good reminder to me, though.

Okay, so what I have I learned about complaining?


Well, sometimes complaining is good.  But not just to complain for the sake of being heard.

First, I refer back to the questions that I spoke of on Sunday.

•  Is what I'm about to say helpful?
• Will it build up or tear down? 
• Will it benefit anyone? 
• Am I talking to the right person?

• To disagree constructively and in the right environment is healthy.  Having an opposing view can actually help others think about another way and maybe move to quicker resolution.  Sometimes one person becomes very convicted about something in their own life that another may not have considered.    The experience of one can influence another. 

• To bemoan to a trusted friend about something that is really bothering you can help you actually heal and move past it.  But not to just anyone.   I have a couple friends in my life that I call my "Lightning Rods."  A lightning rod what people put on their roofs to take the strike of lightning before it destroys a house.  

Again, I refer to Dictionary.com.  

lightning rod

1.	a rodlike conductor installed to divert lightning away from a structure by providing a direct path to the ground.

2.	a person or thing that attracts and absorbs powerful and esp. negative or hostile feelings, opinions, etc., thereby diverting such feelings from other targets

This person should be strong.  Someone who is not easily influenced by the opinions or emotions of other people.  This person should love you but maybe not too much.  A spouse is not always the best choice for this because they are too emotionally involved in your life.     This person should also be very trusted to take in what you have to say and lock it up.   I have one person like this and she is my saving grace sometimes.  Actually, we agreed to do this for each other and it works great for both of us.   It seems like sometimes when I vent to her that once the words are released from my head, they don't seem to be that big of a deal anymore. 

• Another leader once told me that if you are going to complain to "complain up."  Meaning, if you want to complain for change - go to the person who can change it.   Do not complain laterally - to the people in your same position.  It will just bring them down and make them mistrustful of the leadership you are under and believe it or not - you too.   Definitely, do not complain to those you are entrusted to lead.    They are looking to you for strength and reassurance.  Even if they are complaining to you...and they will...do not complain back. Just love them and try to assure them you understand and hear them.

• Most importantly, I've found that if I go to God with my complaint first that most of the time my heart is changed.  If I find the issue is still gnawing at me it's only then that I know it might be something I need to talk to someone about.   

• Finally, I have to say that most of the time complaining will not get you far.  I find that when I interact with a person that complains a lot, I tend to tune them out.  The best answer is serving others and helping to find a solution.  Listen first (always a good reminder to me).  Asking questions and seeking to understand usually works best for me. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on complaining.  Or not complaining.

For more lessons learned this week, head on over to Musings of a Housewife.   

Morning Walks, Be Bands and Forgiveness - What I Learned This Week

 Even though my brain does not seem to be hitting on all cylinders, I learned just a few things this past week

• Putting my son in Tae Kwon Do finally (as he reminds me) was a great move.  He asks to go every single day and loves his time there.  I can see it on his face how much fun he is having. 
  

•  Taking a walk in the cool morning air helps morning sickness to subside for awhile.  So do potato chips.  
  

• Having one pair of maternity jeans hiding in the back of your closet that did not sell at a consignment sale is a big score!  Especially on Sunday morning when you are trying to find something to wear to church and NOTHING else fits around your waist anymore.  

• Going to a church that dresses casually is a blessing.  

By the way, I found these at Target - Be Bands.  I did not have them with my other pregnancies and I have to say that I love them.  They really do help this weird transition of "before maternity clothes but can't fit into your regular clothes."  I paid for these, nobody asked me to tell you how awesome they are, I just want to share my opinion.

• It doesn't matter how much you want someone to change or see the light in a situation.  They have to want it.  Anger and fear can literally consume a heart that does not belong to God.  And even one that does has a hard time dealing with those emotions in a healthy way.   So, I just pray for changed hearts.  I pray for the others involved - that their hearts be protected through the wreckage of unforgiveness and retribution.     I pray that I love and not judge.  What else can a friend do?

What did you learn this week?
 Check out more lessons over at Musings of A Housewife. 

Finding Part-Time Work is Not As Easy As I Thought It Would Be

I always thought that when my kids went to school I would get a part-time job.   It seemed like the logical thing to do.    I put it off for awhile (since July) but finally I got excited at the opportunity to make enough money to maybe buy extras for myself and the kids.  Or pay for groceries or a bill once and awhile.

So, I started the task of looking for a job outside of my home after being out of the real workforce for almost 10 years.   During a time when the unemployment rate is hovering at  around 10%.   Yeah, it's not working out so well.  My local grocery store never even called me back. 

First of all, EVERYTHING is online now.  You almost cannot talk to a real person unless they love what they see on your application and call you.  An application - it's not like you get to write them an essay about how great of a person you are - it's fill in the blank. 


I really feel for people in careers that are trying to find full-time jobs.  I watched something on PBS recently where this man who had been an expert in his field for 20+ years, lost his job and was looking for a new one.  He had to hire someone to help him write an resume just to get a call back.  The best job right now seems to be the one who coaches people through the application and interview process.   With so many applicants, companies can be as picky as they want.

Anyway, I finally got a call back from a well-known department store make-up company.   So, I met with the person who would be my boss and we really hit it off.  The job was very flexible with great pay and I felt certain I was going to get it. As a matter of fact, I actually told people I already had it  - that is how confident I was. 

However, I first had to go through a personality based interview by phone.   I know the questions are based to help them find the right person for the job but seriously, I found most of the interview to be ridiculous.  One of the questions was, "Are you an honest person?"   Um, yeah.  Like I'd answer no if I wasn't?     Anyway, after the interview, I felt pretty certain I was not getting this job.

This is why.  Many of the questions were based on how many sales you would drive to this company.   Like, "Do you consider yourself a salesperson?"   Now, I can honestly say that almost every single job I've had in my life has involved sales.   I was a Corporate Sales Manager for a hotel chain in Dallas, TX.  I have sold real estate and cookware through in-home demonstration.  I have sold shoes, clothes, perfume and food and wine.  And quite possibly, the hardest of them all - trying to sell peas to a two year old.  But I do not consider myself a salesperson.  I have always considered myself as someone who becomes educated about my product or field and helps people make buying decisions.  I make friends when I help them buy a product that I am selling.   They refer me and come back to see me.  They remember me not as a salesperson but rather as someone who was helpful, honest and trustworthy.   That was my answer to that question.

Another question was based on what my career path goals were with this company.
Seriously?
I'm looking for a part-time job here, people.  Not a new career.  I told them as much (nicely) and stated that my family is my priority.    I also added that as my children grow older, I might consider a new career but for the time being, I was very interested in the part-time flexible job for which I was applying.

The last question that I remember and I'm really not sure what they thought about this.  I will say there was total silence on the other end when I answered.  "What is the one thing you would stand up for no matter what?"  Or something along those lines.   Without skipping a beat my answer was God.


So there you go.  I answered a personality based interview with three main ideas.
Integrity or Trustworthiness
Family
God

I did not get the job.  The woman who originally interviewed me was shocked.  She is the one redeeming and wonderful part of this whole experience.

While I was a little hurt at first, I'm now at peace.  Some things have changed for me since I began a job search,  I'm all about surrendering this year and I know that God has a very good reason why he did not want me to have that job.   And frankly, why would I want to work for a company that is obviously more interested in making sales than hiring people with a moral compass.  I am savvy enough to know that had I lied through parts of that interview, I would have gotten the job.  I knew the answers they wanted and I very easily could have given them those answers.  I chose to be honest. 

I would do the same all over again.  You just can't replace integrity.

One very good lesson came out of this particular job interview, though.   If you think the sales person at the make-up counter is trying to sell you something you really don't need - she probably is.

For More Lessons Learned This Week head on over to it's guest appearance on  From Inmates to Playmates. 

What I Learned This Week - Randomness

I learned that when your kids are tracked out of school for the first 3 weeks of January, that starting any kind of routine is impossible.  We have been sleeping late, eating poorly and acting like it's still Christmas around here.   My daughter actually asked me if we could go to the gym today.  The gym?  I think I forgot where it is located.   I so so so need to get back to the gym.

I learned that you can unsubscribe to emails that fill your inbox up every day.  In light of my word this year, I have surrendered my subscriptions to about 10 websites so far.  Don't worry, it's not yours. 

I learned that I miss after-Christmas shopping.  I did make a resolution of sorts to not spend any money on anything that I don't really need for a few months.  Although, Hubby did buy me a cute pair of boots for 75% off that I kinda needed.  Kinda.  But he bought them - not me!  So, I did not break my deal.   Anyway, it's been difficult to stay away from the mall.

That's about it for this week!  Find out what others have learned this week over at Musings of a Housewife.  

The Training Continues...

Apparently, training your pet is an ongoing thing.  Kinda like raising kids.  So the dog trainer told me today after our visit.   He's coming back for the next four weeks to work with the person in the house that is most responsible for him but the least consistent in training him.  That would be me.

I hate to even tell this story because this dog is so sweet, that I don't want you to think badly of him.  Like he will ever know, right  Anyway, he bit my Bubby.  In defense of the dog, my son was trying to take away a can that Elmo got out of the recycling bin, he was being chased by several kids who were also trying to get the can and it was over Thanksgiving when his home had been descended upon by 7 more people and another dog.   I think he was a bit stressed.

As I was cleaning up my son and after I got over my anger toward the dog (because it's really hard not to be mad at your dog who just bit your child), I just got sad because I've heard that once a dog bites a child that he will do it again.  And we have tons of kids in our yard all the time.   I was really afraid that finding a new home might be necessary.  

So, on a recent vet visit, she recommended the dog trainer and some encouragement that a young dog/puppy can be trained not to bite again.  Whew.  

The diagnosis for our sweet Elmo is that he has fear-based aggression.  Both the vet and the trainer have said so and that we need to work with him to fill him up with confidence so he won't be fearful.   Think obstacle courses!  He already knows very basic commands so we just need to reinforce those.  Also, the trainer suggested we not give him bones and rawhide and thinks they actually can cause some aggression in dogs.  They look to the bone as prey, they hide it, they guard it - makes sense.  

He actually has always been submissive and it hurts me to think that he might have been abused as a very small puppy but if I so much as raise my voice at him, he rolls over, lowers his ears and often runs and hides.   This dog is not aggressive by nature.  Why why why are people mean to animals? 

Anyway, I haven't been consistent training him.   I've made all the mistakes.  For instance, the first question the trainer asked me is, "Where does he sleep at night?"

Really?  I'm going to get the first question wrong? 

Yes, we finally succumbed to letting this 38 pound dog sleep at the foot of our bed.  I knew it was not a good idea.  He just has the biggest brown eyes and I felt sad for him being the only one on the floor.  Because yes, our 11 year old, 6 pound Maltese also sleeps with us and that dog will never be sleeping on the floor.  'Cause you can't teach an old dog new tricks - for sure.   But 6 pounds vs. 38 pounds is a big difference in many ways.  A 6 pound untrained dog is easy to pick up and just ignore.  A 38 pound dog is not.   Oh, and by the way, he is 8 pounds overweight according to the vet.   sigh.  Could I just do one more thing wrong with this dog?

Apparently, you cannot treat dogs like humans.  They are unique creatures who have their own habits and need to be trained according to those habits.   Again, I know this.  Really, I do.    Just like I know that if I allow my kids an inch, they will take a mile.  The dogs will too. 

It's just easier sometimes to give in.  Easier at the moment.  Harder later when the dog starts to think he is equal to other people in the house and bite them.

So, here I go - working with my dog some more to make him the most confident, obedient, sweetest dog ever.    The trainer is very confident that we can train him just the way we want with lots of practice.  I have homework each week.

Anyway, I learned this week that teaching a dog is ongoing.  It's not something you can do the first 4 months and then forget about.  I have to be consistent and not take the easy way out for the moment. 
   

For More Lessons Learned this week, head over to Musings of a Housewife.

What I Learned This Week - Travel, Breaks, Sickness

1.  I learned this week, well really last week, that I don't like it when Hubby travels. He really doesn't travel that often so when he does, I am all out of sync.  I try to remember that many husbands travel every week and others are away serving in our armed forces - some in foreign lands.  So, it's then that I get over myself and make the best of it. 

I certainly have the utmost respect for women (or men) that run a family without a partner.   I grew up with a single mom and I know how hard it can be.   Anyway, he is back now and we are back on track here!

2.  The holidays come faster every single year.  It seems like I just put the decorations away.    I love Christmas but everything that comes with it stresses me out a bit.  I am trying very hard to prepare earlier this year so I don't find myself running around on December 23 trying to find the last great gift for someone!

3.  Sometimes blogging is not my priority.  I love it.  It's fun and I don't see myself giving it up but sometimes (like last week), I just need to take a break.  That is why I will probably never be a big time blogger. 

4. I hate when my kids are sick.  B has the flu this week and she is pitiful.   I am hoping it's all better before our 7 guests show up on Wednesday! 

For More Lessons Learned hop on over to Musings of a Housewife. 

Pie is Not Meant to Be Slurped

I learned this week that pie is meant to be eaten slowly.  Enjoyed with a fork.  Every bite savored. 

It is not meant to be slurped.  Not meant to go in your nose and you definitely should not try to consume an entire one in 90 seconds against 5 men.  Beasts, I tell you. 

For some crazy reason...I'm crying peer pressure, I was strong-armed convinced to participate, in my husband's absence, in a pie eating contest.  Against 5 grown men.  Big men.  One was a football player for crying out loud. 

It was all for a good cause.  At least, that's what they told me.  We had a tailgate party at church this weekend.  What were we tailgating for you might wonder?  For the heck of it.  We tailgate for every sport known to man, why not for church?  It was a great opportunity to hang out and get to know each other better.  So, that's what we did.  We hung out and then people laughed at the only woman in the pie eating contest.  It was not a good time.   I think there are even pictures to prove how embarrassing fun it was.  Maybe I can find them and destroy show them here in another lifetime. 

All in all, I learned another lesson - So, let it be said in right here in black and white.  That I will never.  Ever.  EVER.  Participate in a pie eating contest again.  It was in my nose, it was the longest 90 seconds of my life and I almost threw up about 3 times.   I'm not sure I will ever look at apple pie the same again.   

I will say that my pie was the neatest of them all and if there were a prize for NOT making a colossal mess, I would have won, thankyouverymuch. 

For More lessons learned this week head over to Musings of Housewife. 

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

While out shopping a couple weeks ago, I stopped by Anthropologie.   Okay, I LOVE this store.  Seriously, it is a feast for the senses.  Beautiful clothes, candles, dishes and so much more.  All with beautiful price tags.

I wanted this Butter Bell Crock that they had for sale.   I passed it up that day but just kept thinking what a great way this would be to store my butter.   It is not for sale online but I did find it on another site HERE.
Anthropologie price $18.  Other website price $19.95

I liked it but not enough to spend almost $20 on one.    A few weeks later, while dropping off some things at a local thrift store, I found one...for THREE DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS.  Joy!

This is the one I found!

Then a couple weeks later while shopping for some things for my daughter's Halloween costume I found something else I'd been wanting.

 A while back I went to a Pampered Chef party and loved this divided dish.

The holder is $15 and then the two little square bowls that fit inside are an additional $16.   I liked it but not that much.

Behold what I found at Goodwill for THREE DOLLARS!  Hmmm - seeing a pattern here with the three dollar thing.

AND I like it better than the new stainless steel looking one.

Oh, I can't wait to tell you about my coffee table that Hubby re-finished.  But that is for another time.  

Good things come to those who wait -that's what I learned this week!  For more lessons learned this week head on over to Musings of a Housewife. 

   

Just a Couple Things - What I Learned This Week

1.  We tend to judge our homes (and our bodies, and our hair and our kids and our husbands and on and on...) more harshly than anyone else ever does.    I often criticize my home as not being big enough, clean enough or organized enough.    And it is all of those things - perfectly sized, clean ENOUGH and even organized.  Some of you may not believe that I can keep an organized home but you know what?  It is!   I need to stop looking at all I don't do and focus on the things I do right!

2.  I am not disorganized.  I am just a HUGE procrastinator.  When you procrastinate things, those things end up happening at the same time and not in an orderly fashion.  It appears I am disorganized when really I've just waited too long to do too many things.  

3.  I should never ever ever make any major decisions the week before, well, that time of the month.
I told a friend last week that I think I must need some medicine because I have been crying so much lately and I should really take a good hard look at changing some things in my life.   My "monthly visitor" came just 3 days later.   Um, yeah - feeling much better, thank you.

4.  I have good kids.   They are kids that make messes and throw tantrums occasionally, but when both sets of grandparents spend time alone with them while Hubby and I run off to Oklahoma and  then tell you how much of a joy it was to be with them - that is a good feeling.  Not that grandparents are partial or anything.  ;)

5.  I should spend way more time with my friends.  They make me laugh.  They listen to me.  They give good advice.  They love me.    Last week, when I was feeling blue, some good friends called out of the blue - they spoke truth into my life and they were like little angels lifting my spirits.

For More lessons learned hop on over to Musings of a Housewife.

Learning From Another Mom Who's Been There

 

I've had the opportunity to watch my sister in law raise her kids.   She had her first child just a couple years after I got married and then had twins when her oldest was three.   I know those years were a blur to her but as a newly-married woman without kids, I often stood in awe of how she managed it all.   I mentally took note of a lot and was able to use so much of what I learned from her with my own kids.  For instance, schedules:  it was completely necessary that her kids be on schedules for everyone's well-being.  I put that into practice with my own kids and it was such a benefit for our family.  When mine turned 2, she passed along advice and books which helped me through that age and so on through the baby and toddler stages.  

Her and my brother in law live 3 hours away but we visited often when their kids were little.  It was great to get a taste of  little kids and then come back to our peaceful world of newlywed bliss sans children.   After we had our own, we tried to keep the visits frequent, but now as all of our kids get older we don't get to spend as much time together.    Activities and sports seem to rule our schedules now.  

This past weekend we packed up the family van and headed to Charlotte to visit them.  It's always a fun weekend and the kids have so much fun hanging out.  Their oldest is now 13 and our youngest is 5.    My kids pretty much worship their older cousins and it's just fine because they are really great kids.

I don't get the chance to see my sis in law in action much anymore and I've gotten into my own special grove as a mom.  But just like always, when we are together, I learn something from her about being a better mom. 

This weekend, I learned:

• To take a very real interest in my kids activities.   To love what they love. 

• To sit down and play more board games with my kids or play catch outside with them - engage in more play with them. 
  

• To keep more lists (always a struggle for me)
  

• To try and stay ahead of the laundry.  Which reminds me that I have a load in the washer...
  

• To not always say what is on my mind to my husband when he is bugging me. 

• To not get too upset when someone knocks your mailbox down, breaks a window to your garage and knocks over your birdbath in the middle of the night.  Yes, this happened while we were there - most likely teenagers.  I never heard the glass break in the middle of the night but she did and she remained so calm.  I hope that I would react in a similar way but I'm not sure that my fear wouldn't get the best of me and cause me to freak out.  
  

I try not to fall into that comparison trap but it is difficult when you see another great mom running her household so efficiently.   I do think it's good to learn from other moms by taking a bit here and there that you can incorporate into your own family, though.   Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.   I love having women like my sister in law that I can look to for advice and guidance.   I know some women even look at me that way which amazes me...really, it does.     But really that is the way it's intended to be, the moms who have been there helping the newbies learn the ropes.

So, how about you?  Who have you learned from about being a mom and wife?  

For More lessons learned this week, head on over to Musings of a Housewife.

Why is My Hydrangea Not Blooming?

1.     Did I prune my hydrangea back fairly drastically in the fall or winter?

2.     Did my hydrangea leaf out early in the spring during a warm spell and then get caught in a late spring freeze?

 Last year, I planted a beautiful hydrangea.  It bloomed all summer and into the fall.    Then winter came and it looked like it died.  I was so excited this Spring to see the green sprouts coming  through the brown.

But here it is September and while my hydrangea is lush with green leaves, there is not a single bloom on it.

So, what is a girl to do?

Google.

I googled the question, Why Won't My Hydrangea Bloom?

And THIS link came up.  Everything I am about to tell you, I learned  at Hydrangeas Hygrangeas - a whole entire website dedicated to, well, hydrangeas. 

I love Google. 

The site asks two very important questions

1.     Did I prune my hydrangea back fairly drastically in the fall or winter?

1.  Did I cut my hydrangea back drastically in the fall or winter? - Yes, I did.

 
2.  Did it bloom out early Spring and then get caught in a late Spring freeze? - No, it did not.

The picture below,which is from their site, shows a hydrangea with new growth coming up from the ground only - this is a sure sign that you will not get blooms on your plant, according to the site.

This is EXACTLY what mine looked like this Spring!  So, it would prove to be true because mine has no blooms.  I think we've covered that already, though. 

The site goes on to tell SO much more about hydrangeas, like which types are good for your gardening zone, how not to kill them and very importantly the right way to prune them.  Which is the exactly the advice I need so that my beautiful plant will bloom next year.

I've bookmarked this site for sure. 

That is what I Learned This Week.  Head on over to Musings of A Housewife to find out more lessons learned!   

My Rollercoaster Ride with Being Healthy

There was once a time in my life where I could honestly say that I had not eaten fast food of any kind for about 3 years.  No chicken nuggets, no french fries, no cheeseburgers that came from a restaurant with a drive-thru.

I was a serious "health nut" as they say.
Organic - check.
No processed foods - check.
Triple Osmosis filtered water - check.
I even had a filter in my shower to remove whatever yuckiness could go into my body through the city water.   I used the stone crystal for deodorant, herbal wrap detoxes, all natural colon cleanses, I was completely dairy free for awhile, I can skim the labels of food to find yucky additives in seconds flat - the list goes on, y'all.   

I hadn't tasted a Big hamburger, that begins with an M and ends with a C, in about 5 years.  Maybe more.

Then I got pregnant with my first child.

The cravings I had were unbelievable.  I used it as a license to eat whatever I wanted. 

Here I was in a 12 week natural childbirth class with a nutrition plan that was perfectly laid out to feed me and my baby into optimal health.   Yes, I had my first child without one single drug - I told you, I was a nut.   Anyway, I was not only eating everything on that plan which was A LOT of good whole foods, but I was suddenly eating every piece of junk food I could get my hands on.   

Hubby loves to tell the story of when I was about 7 months pregnant and  he walked into the office where we worked together -  the office where we distribute a line of products designed to help people eat healthier - to find me eating a Big hamburger, that begins with an M and ends with a C, large fry and large coke.

He asked me,"Is that what I think it is?" 
"Yes, it is." 
"Can I have a bite?" 
"Don't even think about it."

And so began a new love affair with fast food.   I feel it only fair to tell you that I gained...get ready for it...80 pounds during my first pregnancy.  80. Pounds.  It took me over a year to lose that weight.

Losing it, of course, included not eating any more fast food.   I also ended up with Ulcerative Colitis.  I don't know what to attribute this to other than my eating habits taking a nose dive during the pregnancy. 

Now fast forward to having two kids and being a busy mom.    Let's face it, getting fast food is often just easier.  The kids are hungry and time is short.   Over the last few years, I have fed myself and my kids fast food more than I would like to think.

So here I am the last couple years, cooking pretty healthy at home but often running through a drive-thru with my kids. I even allowed some processed foods to come into my home because they BEG me at the store.  I feel like I've been sending them a mixed message. 

So, the time has come for a change...again.   For one, it's really not within my new budget to spend money on food that is anything but nutritionally sound.   Secondly, my health and my family's health is just that important.

Am I completely finished feeding my kids fast food?  Well, no.  I'd like to be but they still ask for it and sometimes it just is the easier option.  I would say that rarely is more like it.   And we try to make better choices about what kind of fast food we eat.   It is not all created equal. 

What I learned from this is that eating healthy is a habit.  It starts with one good choice and leads to another good choice.  And another and so on until eating healthy is just part of who you are.

The same goes for eating unhealthy.  It starts with one bad choice (I was pregnant for crying out loud - who can blame a pregnant woman?!?) and leads to another bad choice.  And another and so on until eating unhealthy is just part of who you are.

The crazy thing is that eating unhealthy is a lot easier of a habit to get into than eating healthy.  The sugar in processed foods is like a drug to our body.  I once had a holistic nutritionist tell me that she felt sugar was a worse addiction than heroin.   Since I have never been a heroin user, I just can't fairly say.    But if she is right then it would go to prove why it is so hard to get off of processed and fast foods.  We become addicted to them.   And like any addiction, it damages our body.  Luckily, we have amazing cells that can rebuild themselves quickly just by eating healthy again.  Whew!


So, yeah - I'm on the wagon again.  Going back to some of my better habits and trying to eat healthier.  Picking up some tips from websites and bloggers and reading up on some current health issues.  Back to the basics, ya know?  Since I've been down this road before, I really feel like I can recognize a fad or a trend in health.  And letmetellyou - there are many. 

I have one final word of advice about nutrition that I've gathered in my rollercoaster ride of healthy/not so healthy eating.  Moderation is absolutely the key.   Changing your eating habits overnight will most likely set you up for failure.  But eventually, what you think you could never live without will not even taste good to you anymore.  So, take it slowly and savor the new choices you are making.

Okay, that is all.  Now where is that chocolate...dark in it's purest form, of course.  ;)

*I must put this disclaimer on here that I am not a doctor or a nutritionist and you should always follow your own doctor's orders or make educated decisions about your own health.  Anything stated here are simply my own experiences and opinions.

Kitchen Tools I cannot live without

What I Learned This Week is that there are several tools in my kitchen that I could not live without. Well, I could live but, you know, it wouldn't be as fun to cook without them. Or as easy.

As I was cooking dinner the other night I pulled out several tools in my kitchen.

With each one, I thought to myself, "I love this thing. How would I cook without it?"

First and foremost, my cookware.

Now before we go any further...

Yes, we sell the stuff. We have sold Saladmaster for almost 15 years. It is a way of life for us in more ways than one. I'm not trying to sell you - believe me, you have to see it to understand it. And if you saw it in action, you would most likely want it. But I would be remiss if I didn't share my feelings with you about cookware. I believe that while the type of food we put in our bodies is important, how we cook it and what we cook it in, is equally important.

So, moving right along.

My cookware - it is, without a doubt, the finest thing I own and saves my life in the kitchen every night. My most favorite piece is my electric skillet. I seldom use my oven to cook a casserole because of this thing. Isn't it beautiful?



My food processor. No, not my fancy electric one. I do appreciate that for specific cooking tasks but this is my Saladmaster food processor and I use it almost every single day. It's design is as old as the hills and that is just because it works. It cleans up in a jiffy and breaks down to store easily




Okay now on to some things we don't actually sell.

Pampered Chef food chopper. I love my food processor but sometimes I just need this to chop nuts or onions or celery really fine. Plus, it helps me get aggression out!




My OXO carrot peeler. Hands down, it is the best carrot peeler in the land. The End.
Oh, and if you go to their site right now you can register to win $10,000 in kitchen products!




My Bunn coffee maker. Now before I hear from the real coffee enthusiasts out there who say coffee should brew slowly, let me tell you - I love this thing. It is my second one. A full pot of coffee in about 3 minutes and my coffee tastes just fine, thankyouverymuch. 'Nuff said. Amen.




My KitchenAide Mixer. I did not know how much I would really love this until I got it as a gift from Hubby. It saves my life during the holidays with baking. I don't love to bake and much of the reason is the mixing. Love the color - mine is red. Love the attachments. Love what it does. Here is a way you can buy a refurbished one if you can't swing a new one.

Okay, so tell me what you can't live without in your kitchen?

For more What I Learned This Week hop on over to Musings of A Housewife.

Convenience Factor - What I Learned This Week

Our family has decided to make an effort to be better stewards of our money and be on a little tighter budget. To say that we are being affected by the recession would be an understatement. I'm not going to go into that too much because my husband would not be a happy camper with me telling cyberspace our financial state and all. Let's just say, we really have needed to re-think the way we live our life. It's not necessarily been such a bad thing, though.

We decided that we waste a lot of money on things that provide us convenience. While they do free up some time for us, we also find that they don't add much benefit to our life. One question I asked myself a lot is, "What are my kids learning by the fact that we pay someone else to do so much for us?"

We've done a lot of cutting back in small areas but just this last week we've done the following:

First, we let our lawn service go.
Now, before you go and laugh at how much this is not a sacrifice (you are probably right), let me tell you that for Hubby - it really is. He has about 1 full day off a week and we spend most of that day at church. So, he really doesn't have much time to do yardwork. I could not use our old mower because I could never get it started (I know, I know), so eventually we just hired someone to do it. The opportunity cost at the time just made sense. We've had the same lawn service for a pretty low cost for almost 10 years. I hated to cancel it because we love the guy so much. But we did - it just makes sense now. So, Hubby went to Sears and got himself a fancy push mower that was a floor model and one I can work if I need to. Which I'm hoping I don't.

That hubby of mine can certainly work a deal. He got a the mower for more than 50% off. I think he actually is enjoying mowing the lawn which I did not think I would ever see.

Second, we let our housecleaning service go.
Yes, I cried.

Again, you might be saying, "no big sacrifice, Janel." Yeah, well you are right. Many women clean their own homes, so why can't I? Now I do have to say that I have only had a cleaning service because she is part of a barter program in which we belong. I have not paid her cash in 2 years. But again, we decided we need to save the bartering dollars for more important things like vet bills and the dentist. Yes, we barter those things - it's a beautiful thing.

Third, we decided to eat out for dinner only once a week. We sell an amazing line of premium cookware for crying out loud. Why are we going to out dinner so much? Weight gain, stomach issues all spending money all say we shouldn't be eating out so much - enough said. So, I've been cooking every night this week. I actually baked, too! I enjoy cooking so much and really find that the more of a habit I make it, the more I can easily throw a meal together faster than going out to eat. Also, I feel so much better about what I'm feeding my kids because I have control over what goes into the food.

Last but not least, I am looking for part-time income now that both of my kids are in school. So, I started looking for a job outside the home only to realize a couple things:

1. I have not been in the actual workforce for almost 10 years and people are not so much interested in me compared to the other thousand people that are out of work that actually do have skills they need.

2. I am on my computer a lot. And there are ways to generate income by being on my computer. One thing I like to do is encourage and promote other people. There are actually ways that I can generate income by doing just that in the online world. I've had some amazing opportunities this week in this area and I am very excited.

Needless to say, the first week without the many conveniences has been busy.
Busy but good.
It feels good to make an effort to take care of our own stuff and also save money.

In my mind, it's a positive way the recession has affected us. It's made us more aware of what we really don't need and what we can do ourselves.

How about you? What positive affect has the recession had on you, if any?

For more lessons learned this week you can head over to Musings of a Housewife. She's been talking a lot about eating more whole foods and less processed. Good stuff over there.

Something Out of Nothing - What I Learned This Week

The other day I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and she was saying how she would love one of those cute beach cottage types of home. You know the ones that just fell into the owner's lap from a great aunt or something. And where they make a kitchen table out of an old front door they found on the side of the road. The ones where they just happened to have antique knotty pine floors under that old shag carpet and it was just waiting for a good buff to make it's charm come alive.

Yeah, you know the ones.

I told her I didn't think I could ever have a house like that because I'm not one that can make something out of nothing.

Again, you know someone who can make what looks like nothing to one person a work of art to another. The ones that have 4 beads and a piece of yarn one minute and finials for their lamps the next. The ones that have an old table from Gramma laying around in the attic and the next thing you know it is the showpiece side table in their living room. " Just a little elbow grease and some white paint..."

Yeah, you know them. Or you are one of them.

To be perfectly honest, I am so completely jealous of this attribute. I wish beyond measure I could take a little something and make it ooze with charm. Sometimes, if I am lucky, I can copy something someone has done and it works out.

Flash forward to dinner last night. Mondays often come when I realize that I have not been to the grocery store over the weekend or since the Tuesday before. Pickin's are slim, to say the least. This was definitely the case last night when I realized it was about 5:45 and not enough time to go to the store. Now while I could have easily eaten a bowl of cereal, I have this little family here that requires a little more than my old college stand-by meal.

So, I had 8 frozen chicken tenders, a fresh green pepper, pasta sauce and pesto sauce frozen in the freezer, a half of box of penne pasta and a bit of mozzarella cheese. (I always forget about the things I have tucked away in the freezer).

Wallah!
I made up this Cheesy Chicken Pasta Dish that my kids said was one the best dinners EVAH!

Making something out of nothing. Well, I guess I know someone like that, too.

So, that's what I learned this week - not to sell myself so short. For more lessons learned this week head on over to Musings of a Housewife and visit some of those ladies. You won't be disappointed!

What I Learned This Week - Puppy Food

Because I'm on a roll with the lists lately. Another one...

• Stuffed animals including beady eyes
  
• Squeaker toys including the actual squeaker
  
• Yogurt containers or anything from the trash that ever touched food
  
• Dog Beds where he is supposed to sleep
  
• Star Wars guys and miscellaneous other toys
• Sea Shells - yes entire sea shells
  
• Aluminum Foil
• WHOLE rawhide bones

I learned this week that the above list only touches the surface of what my 8 month old dog will eat and that anything he decides to leave behind can be found under my couch.



For more lessons learned this week (lessons that are probably much more important than mine) check out Musings of a Housewife.