A couple weekends ago, my husband and I went to a parenting seminar by John Rosemond. I am a big fan of his because without his book, Making the Terrible Twos Terrific, I might not have made it through age 2-3 with my kids.
My favorite thing about John Rosemond is his no-nonsense, practical and traditional way to raise kids. I'm getting ready to read his new book, Parenting By the Book.
The seminar was good. He is funny and such a straight shooter. He really doesn't sugarcoat much for parents.
One thing he said that I cannot get out of my head was a story of having a conversation with his now elderly mother. He asked her what she talked about with her friends when she was a young mom.
Her response was: politics, books, movies, work, gossip, current events.
Do you notice that she never said her kids?
His point was that his mother was interesting. She was not child-focused. Her children, while very well taken care of and loved, were not the center of her world.
Hmmm. I have to say this thought has intrigued me.
As a matter of fact, I have been doing a little experiment this week to see what I talk about with my friends.
We talk about: politics,books, movies, work, gossip, current events.
However, we also talk about our children. Yes, we do and I would say John Rosemond's mother did too. Honestly, if you are a mom, you are going to eventually get around to talking about your kids - even if it is to complain about how they couldn't get their shoes on and that made you late getting out the door. And more than likely you will brag about something they are doing (like a certain little girl in a dance recital).
I've noticed something else, though. Your friends (even your bestest ones) will only listen to you brag about your kids for so long before their eyes start to glaze over.
When I was a mommy of a baby, I was in a play group with moms and babies the same age. We talked about our kids NON-STOP. There was so much to talk about because it was all new. They were absolutely the center of our worlds because they had to be - they were babies. But sometime shortly after potty training and tantrums there was a shift. We found ourselves wanting to talk about something OTHER than our kids.
Which is exactly what John Rosemond thinks is a natural mother/child occurence. His big point, is that if this has not happened that it is not so good for your family.
Anyway, the part that really stuck with me after all of this is the "My mother was interesting," part.
Because I started to wonder, "Do my kids think I am interesting? Or do they think that my whole world revolves around them?" "What about my husband - does he think I'm interesting?"
"Am I interesting?"
I'm not asking you to answer that. I already know that my talk of garden slugs and dance recitals is breaking news. I am so not trying to solicit compliments here. Really.
What makes a person interesting?
How do you stay interesting?