Keep Dancing

Some of you know what my job is because I go to church with you and I work on Sundays at church.  For those of you that don't - I work on Sundays at my church.   My job is to work with an amazing team of volunteers that are there to make our church the welcoming and warm place that it is.  It may look like we are just parking cars and handing out bulletins when in fact, we are so much more!

There is a lot to remember, a lot to do and the day just flies by as I work with the different teams, welcome guests and spend time with volunteers.   It is an energizing day for me actually.  

I have to admit something, though -  just between you and me. 

I often feel like I didn't do enough.   Sometimes I even feel like I failed at my job.  I look back on the day and I think, "I could have done that better." Or "I missed that!"

It didn't really occur to me that I thought this way until I was having a conversation with my B.  She's getting ready for a talent show and has choreographed a 3 minute dance routine.   She dances all the time and is in several recitals a year.   She's a pro! 

Anyway, she was rehearsing for me and after she finished she became very critical of her performance.  She was saying things like, "I could have done that better."  And,  "I missed that!"

It hurts me because all I see is this amazing dance!  I don't even notice the one thing she missed or the move that she needs to work on.  I see my beautiful child who prepared for and remembered 3 minutes of choreographed moves! I am almost always moved to tears as I watch her dance. Even when she was just 3 years old!   She has grown into this beautiful young dancer who finds so much pleasure in doing it.

You know, I'm pretty sure God feels the same way about me on a Sunday.  I bet he doesn't even notice the things I missed or could have done better.  I'll bet he is so excited at how I prepare and dance through the whole day.

It probably hurts him to hear me criticize myself so much.  And when you get right down to it -  I'm focusing on my own performance and not Him.  I'm pretty sure that's a little thing called Pride.  It comes in  many forms doesn't it?

One Word For 2010 - Join Me, Jan 4

Last year, a good friend of mine summed up her goals for 2009 in one word. She got the idea from someone who works with Compassion International. So yeah, I'm not original. BUT, I loved the idea then and I love it now.

So, on Monday January 4, I will talk about my word for 2010 and why I chose that word.  I'd love for you to join me in the comments or post something of your own.  If you want to do that, I can post a Mr. Linky.

Okay, so be thinking of something!
One word. It's harder than you think!
Here is my post from last year if you want a better idea of what I'm talking about. 

Monday Monday

Well, I am back from my retreat. Did you ever notice that women's retreats are really not that restful? Well, for me anyway. The talking and sharing just never ends! I don't think I was in bed before 1 am for 2 nights in a row. And yes - I loved every minute of it!!! That is just one great group of women who are excited about God, our church and about getting women connected.

I was exhausted yesterday and even thought I might be getting sick but a good night of sleep will do wonders!

Thanks for those that linked up to Souper Saturday! There were some great recipes on there that I want to try this week.

The kids are off of school today - AGAIN. Honestly, with a 5 week track out, vacation, snow days and holidays, the thought of both kids being in school again is almost surreal. Will it ever really happen? And what will I do with myself? Right.

So, my church just announced this weekend that we are going to multi-sites. Basically, each site will function as their own church with staffs and such but our pastoral team will be recorded at our main campus Saturday night service and broadcast at the other locations on Sunday. One of them will be right here in my little town! I am excited to be a part of that new site but a little melancholy about not being at the main campus on a regular basis once this kicks off. But I gotta go where God wants me to go, ya know? He hasn't steered me wrong yet!

So, how about you? Do any of you go to a multi-site church? Tell me about your experience.

What Not to Wear

I am at a women's conference today with my MIL! It's the What Not to Wear Conference by Shari Braendel of P31. I am sooo excited. I met her briefly at the She Speaks conference and she just seems like one dynamic lady. I've heard she has a great story to share.

I really hope I wore the right thing. I mean didn't wear the thing I'm not supposed to wear. I just hope she doesn't notice me.

I also got to help set up and be with some of my favorite women in this whole world while doing so.

If you get a chance, we'd love it if you'd throw up a quick prayer that everything runs smoothly. We have over 250 women coming, lunch, lights, microphones and all kinds of things that need to come together.

Thanks

What Not To Wear Conference

Tickets Available NOW!!
What Not to Wear – A Girlfriend's Guide to Glamour

Saturday, November 1, 2008
10 am - 2 pm

Hope Community Church

Join the Women of Hope Community for a half day conference of fun, fashion and self-image.
Nationally recognized speaker, Shari Braendel gets everyone involved in this interactive workshop.

She tells-it-like-it-is in a best friend kind of way, sharing practical image and style advice for all shapes and sizes. Uplifting, engaging and off-the-wall fun, Shari's passion for fashion will leave you wanting more. Invite all your friends and neighbors!

The perfect event for ladies age 18-99!

Conference includes 3 workshops, lunch, goody bags, door prizes and more.

Doors open at 8:30 for individual style and color consultations with Shari and her staff. Please arrive early for your consultation, then enjoy coffee and pastries before the conference. Early Bird tickets also collect their bonus before the morning session. $25 per person.
Click here to purchase tickets through Sunday, October 26th.

Purchase an early bird ticket before September
30th and receive a free gift from Clinique.

That is Today! Last Day!

I've got mine, do you have yours?

High School Football

When I graduated in 1988, we were State 5A Football Champs. Honestly, I do not even know how many state championships and titles my high school has actually won, but it has been many. We are legends in the great state of Missouri as far as high school football goes.

The photos above are of the new field going in right now.

A few years ago, Melissa Etheridge used my high school as the backdrop for her video of the song Breathe. I thought I would share it with you. Of course, this will not evoke the same sentimental feelings it does for me, but it is still pretty cool to watch.



For some REAL Wordless Wednesday shots go to 5 Minutes for Mom.

What am I doing that I should stop doing?

One of my favorite speakers at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit was Craig Groeschel from LifeChurch.tv.

Actually, this is my third year watching summit and I would say he is one of my Top 5 favorites. Over the years, I have been impacted by all of the speakers in some way, but a few of them leave me with lasting impressions. Lasting challenges. Lasting growth.



He was alive, real and offered excellent advice for leaders and Christ-followers. And - he. was. funny. Oh, and looks a lot like Tom Cruise.



He offered stimulating and challenging questions, that seriously did keep me up late last night. Make no mistake, that was his intention. I think if it is enough to keep me up at night then I need to do something about finding the answers to these questions in my own life. That is what I took away from his talk. Here are some main questions he presented to us:

What are we doing that we should stop doing?

What is God trying to show you through your greatest limitation?

What has God called you to do that you’re afraid to try?

Some thoughts I had in response to his questions immediately are these...



For me the thought of actually stopping something I am already doing is difficult. I really need to think of it less as a failure and more of where God is leading me in a different, better direction.



My greatest limitation? How can I pick just one???? :) But what is the one that keeps me from really not being as effective of a leader as I can. Easy - FEAR. Fear of what others think, fear of what others are doing. Fear of messing up. Fear of not being taken seriously.



Called to do and afraid to try? Not sure, yet. I think working through the fears above will keep me busy for awhile.





Here is his blog, Swerve, where they talk more about the summit.





He left us with this Franciscan Prayer and I wanted to share it with you today.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and
superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your
heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and
exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and
peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from
pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to
comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you
can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot
be done.

Amen.

She Speaks Linked Up and Goals

If you are coming from Lysa's blog - Welcome! Leave me a comment or shoot me an email. I would love to get to know you before She Speaks. If you are going and have not been to her blog, she has a Mr. Linky going so we can get to know each other. Go there now and link up!

Updated

Alyssa from Organized Life By Design posted her goals for She Speaks and I think this is a great idea. I have ideas of my goals in my mind, but it would be great to get them out of my head. I need less in my head.

1. My biggest goal of going to She Speaks is to see if speaking is something I am truly interested in pursuing. I enjoy speaking to groups of women but not sure I would enjoy it or be any good at it on a larger scale.

2. I am very interested in the blogging sessions. This blogging thing has become a huge part of my life and I need to make sure I am in it for the right reasons and doing it well. I do not like to do things half-way and know there is much I leave out of my blog. It is my goal to learn from these very talented ladies how to blog better.

3. Leadership. I am in some leadership positions in ministry. Again, while I feel called to be in those positions, I want to make sure I am being effective and truly glorifying God by serving the right way. I often feel I am missing something in my leadership. I enjoy conferences to help me fill in those blanks. I am looking forward to these sessions at She Speaks.

I am a conference junkie. I would go to one every other month if I could afford it. My biggest goal of any conference is to leave with one life-changing lesson. Just one.

While I learn much and take notes like a mad woman, I can look back on all of my conference experiences and remember the "One Thing." That way, I allow myself to learn and keep an open mind, but not be overwhelmed with all of the great information. If I walk away with more than one life changing lesson then it is just a bonus!

Momma in the Doghouse

First off, it is a really great feeling to have made friends through this blog that care enough to pray for me and then remember to ask how my talk went. Thank you! What a blessing you are to me!

So, I am finished and I feel like it went pretty well. I had incredible peace about what I was saying and had time this morning to pray alone before I spoke.

I was prepared. Which is shocking in and of itself since I always procrastinate. I was up late obsessing over a couple things, though.


Hubby, being the experienced speaker that he is, told me about midnight last night that I was going to run over the 30 minutes I was allowed to speak. So, I needed to cut some of it. I was a little miffed that I had to cut anything out of my talk on anger, but he was right. There was just so much I could say!

I think I ran over anyway. Sorry MOPS ladies if I did - brevity is not my strongest attribute.

The title of today's meeting was Momma in the Doghouse. Cute and appropriate for my talk.

What I really wanted the moms to know is that they are not alone.

You know, it's not like we just go and talk about it. "Oh, Susan, let me tell you how much I screamed at my kids earlier today! You could have heard me from the next county."

It's not something we are exactly proud of. But it is something many of us deal with and would like to talk to someone about.

I know I feel and other moms feel frustrated in parenting and often do not deal with that frustration in the healthiest ways.

I know I have have been angry and hurtful with my husband and kids at times and that it grieves my God. But he is a god of grace and forgiveness. I wanted the moms to know that.

Mothering is hard work.

Hormones going all wacky are real.

Lack of sleep and "me time" can have a profound effect on how you respond to your children.

I think that moms put their needs dead last most of the time and that it can be draining.

I think we allow ourselves to get over tired, over booked and lack clear boundaries with those around us.


I think our anger, frustration and tempers are results of unfulfilled needs in our life. Lack of sleep, no date nights, lack of time alone, etc.

I know, I'm probably preachin' to the choir here. I am not sharing any big revelations. But I did feel led to share my story so they could be free to share theirs with each other.

The specifics of my story are most likely different than yours or the moms I met today. Or maybe not.

I definitely don't have it all figured out.

This is what I do know, though. I must depend on God for help with raising these kids he has gifted me with. Without him, I can easily lose it. So, I must lean on him and find his strength in my weakness.

It seemed like the questions that came at the end of my talk were mostly about how to discipline a child or how to help a child work through their own anger or emotional outbursts.



I did have a few tools for this that I shared with the moms when they asked. I'm sure they could have used more. I am no expert in this area.

But - Since, through my own actions, I taught my daughter how to have a tantrum when life hands you lemons, I in turn, had to teach her and myself for that matter, to deal with frustration in a healthy way.


We are all about feeling our emotions around here. We try to be keenly aware of them. We talk to counselors when we need to, pastors and friends other times. We acknowledge that anger and sadness are just a part of life that we often have to work through. There is no suppressing anger or sadness around here and as a family that is just how we roll.



I also feel I need to teach my children how to work through their own anger. My job is to raise them into big people that have self-control over themselves. If they don't learn that now, then they will have to face the challenges I've had to face in learning self-control as an adult.

And that is not easy my friends. Not easy at all.

Lastly, I need to teach them where to look for their own help. I want to teach them about hope. Hope and peace that only a loving God can bring.


There are hundreds of books out there on parenting. Discipline and parenting are personal family choices and not something God has laid on my heart to speak on. Honestly, I am not the best at discipline.



What he did lay on my heart was to talk about how to deal with the strong and sometimes dangerous emotion of anger as a mom. That is what I tried to do today. Not how to control your kids, but how to control yourself. I am hopeful that was my message.



I hated to leave the discussion today on this topic because I really felt like those moms had so much to say. But, alas, our sweet mommy time was up. The childcare workers wanted to go home. Imagine that?


I would love to have more discussion here on this blog, though. If there are some ladies from the MOPS group out there reading, please leave a comment or email me.

So, the big question that was left hanging at the end of our time together was this...

What are ways you help your children deal with strong emotions of anger and sadness?

Messy

I really appreciate your caring comments in regards to my Going Postal post. I guess many of us have these big hearts and just take in more than they can handle sometimes.


I am actually comforted by that.


I think that God created us to need each other and hurt for one another. I would feel very sad if it were the other way around.


I think that too often we can shelter ourselves in our own little "perfect" world and put up walls into other people's messy lives. The thing is, we need each other. We need to get messy with people and we need them to get messy with us when the time comes. You will note I said when and not if. Because, life just happens, and sometimes it is messy.


I don't want to be that person that shelters myself from others lives. I want to be the person that wants to open my heart and lend an listening ear to other's sorrow (and their joys, too!)


I want to be the person that draws another to me just to pray for them because they see kindness in my face or hear gentleness in my voice.


I want to be the person that is not afraid to touch a friend who is in the hospital or the homeless guys that attend my church.


I want to be the person who listens to the woman who talks too much about her problems in bible study.


I want to be the friend that comforts, commiserates, consoles, listens, helps, loves and speaks truth when needed.


I just want to be able to do these things and then give it to the One whose heart is big enough to handle all the messiness the world can create.


None of my friends that I spoke of last week even asked for me to fix a thing. Some of them didn't even call me specifically. And some of them just called because they knew I would listen.


Thank God I am able to be there for them. Thank God that I don't have any of these larger issues happening in my life right now, so that I have the opportunity to listen to theirs. Thank God that they trust me to pray for them. What a privilege!


I just chose to take their pain and tuck it in my heart. To make it my own. I chose to worry about it. Not to show concern, but to worry. Big difference there.

And then was gently reminded in my study this week. "Do not worry." Jesus says not to worry 5 times in Matthew 25-34. He says, "Do not worry, I've got it covered."
Okay, okay, I'm beginning to get it.

Where is my focus?

I wrote the other day about comparisons. Since then, I have talked to many other women who suffer from the same "comparisonitis". That's not really a word for you grammar crazies out there, but it works here.

Oh my goodness, ladies, when will we stop comparing ourselves to each other?!?!? I wonder if we could see inside each other's hearts or really live a day in each other's lives if we would still want what the other has so desperately.


Anyway, I wrote how I am spending so much time comparing and how it wears me out. I realized then that it is not what God wants for me. I mean really, what fun can it be, for the creator of the universe, to create me for a special purpose only to watch me try to live out someone else's life? I would imagine he gets pretty frustrated with me to say the least.


How frustrating is it to give our own kids directions on how to behave to see them act differently?


This last week at church we have continued our Sermon on the Mount discussion. This weeks passage is Matthew 6:19-34. Jesus is asking us why we worry about such things as our clothing and food. If our focus is on God, why are we worried about this? Do the birds and flowers wonder where their food or beauty comes from? No, they just live! They just focus on what they are supposed to be doing and God takes care of them.


Well, what if I stopped focusing on all the things this crazy society tells me I need? Our society seems to makes it so normal to want what everyone else has. How many times do you say this to a friend. "Oh, I love that_______!" "Where did you get it?" "I neeeeed one of those, too!"


What if I stopped focusing on all those other women that seem to have it all together? The ones with perfect hair, perfect kids, perfect teeth and perfect faith. Especially, when none of that is really perfect anyway.


What if I kept my focus on a perfect God and what he looks like? What he wants? His kingdom?


Wouldn't I have more peace? Wouldn't I worry less? How would my life change? Who could I really be?


And just how exactly does one do that all the time?

What do you think?

Speaking of Comparisons

Today I was on the phone with my bestest friend of many years. She is going through a very tough time right now. She was just sharing all that is happening and what she is having to do to make some very big changes in her life. I am in awe of her courage and impressed by the steps she is taking to make these changes.


While we were talking she said these words to me, "If I could be more like any one person in the world, it would be you." She even said at one point something akin to me being perfect.


Wow. Me? Why would she want to be anything like me? This friend is the one who knows the most about me! The one who has seen me at my very worst. This is the person that took care of me so many days and nights through college when I was not capable of taking care of myself. So, to say she wanted to be like me. Well, you gotta know, that is as glorifying to God as anything can be.

So, you know what I said to her? " I want you to be you!" I love you and I want you to be you -- only better by being the you that God intended for you to be. Not me! I get enough of me every day."


I didn't say this, but really, I get pretty sick of me. I so hope there will never be two of me. I mean, I am a whole lot to handle! Sure, some days, two of me to be all the places I am required to be would be nice, but that is not the point.

Really, what I was trying to say to her is to stop comparing herself to me. Stop comparing her life to mine, her marriage to mine and her faith to mine. Because in reality, mine has it's own issues and she doesn't want them.


So, this got me to thinking about my past week and what I had been feeling in my own little world. Here is a little story of me feeling all sorry for myself all week.


Why? Because, I too, have been comparing myself to a lot of other people.


I have compared my blog to other blogs. I tell myself, they are all better of course.


My writing to other writers - definitely better.


My bible knowledge - oh, so many know so much more.


I have compared myself to other wives and mothers only to find that I don't cook enough, let my children watch too much TV and certainly don't give my husband the attention he deserves.

Well, how can I when I am trying to keep up with everyone else?!?!!?


I have compared the way I pray to those who definitely have the gift of praying. Their words to God flow like a fountain of smooth sweet fondue chocolate. Mine sound more like a lovesick teenager just talking to her daddy about the heartbreaks in her life.


I have compared my growth and transformation with God to women who have been Christ followers for years.

I have compared my leadership skills to some that have been leading in other areas for years and whose style is so much different than mine.


I have compared my kids to other kids. Why can't my daughter keep just one bow in her hair for more than 10 minutes? Why isn't my son writing his name, yet?

My mom to other moms. If only she liked shopping more...We could have so much fun if we could go shopping together.


My husband to other husbands. Other husbands are home a lot earlier than mine. They have such normal jobs. Oh, and that sense of humor of his! Does he really have to act so crazy all the time?

I have compared my exercise stamina to the buffest of all women at the gym. I have compared my breasts to the enhanced ones in the gym locker room. I have compared my hair color, my nails, my shoes, my clothes...all to women who probably just got their look pulled together for that day. Who knows what they looked like yesterday?


And you know what, y'all? I'm am just exhausted. I am just so tired of comparing. So, guess what? I think I will take my own advice.


Because God wants me to be me! Only better by being the me He wants me to be. And that definitely does not entail me comparing myself to all these other women.


In a book I am reading right now, Eat Love Pray, she talks a bit about this. To summarize, she says, how God isn't interested in watching you pretend to be someone else. He wants you to be you!

Sunday in church, my pastor affirms this for me with his message. He was talking about the Sermon on the Mount and where Jesus is explaining to his disciples how to pray. You know, the Lord's prayer. It is not intended to be something we memorize and just recite but more of a guide in prayer. The disciples ask, "Lord, how should we pray?" and he tells them, "it goes a little something like this..." (Matthew 6:5-15) NIV


From what I understand, it is not that I am expected to pray like someone else, but exactly like that lovesick teenager I was referring to above. From my heart. Not so that someone else can comment on how great my prayer was. (which I was not at risk for anyway)

So, what about that being perfect part? Well, if you know me even just a little, you will know I am far from perfect. None of us can be perfect in the eyes of our fellow man(or woman in this case). There was only one who roamed this earth that was perfect. The only way I can live a perfect life in God's eyes is to live the one that God created me to live. To do what I am created to do.

It really takes a lot of energy to try and be all these other women I keep comparing myself to and I actually end up feeling empty. But when I am in sync with who God wants me to be I actually feel energized! I feel full.

Well, how do I know if I am living the life God wants me to be living? How do I know if I am the person he wants me to be? I know. You know. Most of us know. There is that little voice inside that just won't shut up when we are out of sync with God. I just have to choose to listen.



Peace,

Afraid of the Dark

Last night I was putting my 3 year old son to bed. He likes for me to lay down with him for awhile each night while he drifts off to the land of Nod. His request? "Rest with me, Mama."

Oh, twist my arm. A chance to cuddle, rub his little soft head and smell his yumminess? Yeah, I'll take him up on his request...just for a minute...or ten. Plus, it really does give me a chance to talk with him about his day. It seems like my kids wind down enough at bedtime to share parts of their day they might not otherwise. So, I do try to take this precious time with each of them.

It is just that sometimes this precious time eeks into my precious alone time or my precious couple time with my husband as they try to delay bedtime as long as possible.

So, last night I was trying to explain to my son that he is getting to be a big boy and he does not need mommy so much anymore. I tried to explain to him how he can do lots of things on his own now and falling asleep is one of them. He told me that he needs me there to help him fall asleep because he is scared. I assured him that he is very brave and had nothing to be afraid of. I asked what he was scared of.

He says, "I am scared inside. I am afraid of the dark. I don't know what is in the dark."

Now, I understand that many little kids are afraid of the dark. Both of my kids sleep with night lights and I am starting to see from my older one that they eventually grow to realize that the dark is not so scary.

I have to admit, though, that even I don't like to enter a room until I have turned the light on.

While I feel safe and protected in my home, I find comfort in knowing what I am walking into.

So, my son's statement actually rings a little true in more ways than just the obvious.

I thought about this. Isn't walking into a dark room like walking in faith?

While I feel safe and protected in my relationship with God, I sometimes would really feel more comfortable if I knew more about the situation I was walking into.

If I knew ahead of time about the dark places I might have to go through, would I still go? Or would I try to take a safer more well-lit route?

But then, what miracles would I not get a chance to see? What life lessons would I miss out on?

As I look back on my more private journals I see that I write a lot about fear. I will even ask myself, "What are you afraid of???"

More than not, my answer is the fear of the unknown. It comes in many disguises, but undressed it is just the fear of not knowing what I am walking into.

In my journal writings, I, with some divine inspiration, usually come to the same conclusion.

My fears are based on what I can do (or can't do) in a situation. It is based on my own capabilities and my own will.

I realize that I am not trusting God to be the light in my darkness. I become paralyzed by this fear of the darkness. Entering into the unknown.

I can't move forward.

I can only get by for so long on my own abilities. And then, I have to look for the light.

Just like when I enter a dark room. I look for the light switch.

I move forward in the dark, through my fears to the light.

As I finished up with my son the other night, I reminded him to look toward the light coming from his closet and his night light and not look to the dark. I encouraged him to pray and ask God to protect him in the dark. It seems so simple, doesn't it?

*******************************************
We walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 NASB

The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going...put your trust in the light while you have it so that you may become sons of light. John 12:35 -36 NIV

She Speaks Conference

I receive a daily devotion from Proverbs 31. I love this ministry that is designed for today's busy woman. I have it on my sidebar along with Lysa TerKeurst's and Renee Swope's blogs. I find inspiration in these ladies words pretty much every single day.

About 6 months ago, I saw that they have a speaking and writing conference every year in Concord. Concord is about a 3 hour drive for me. Since I have just started speaking more and really found that I enjoy writing, I was more than ready to register for this upcoming conference. The dates for the 2008 were not even posted yet and registration was not open.

Fast forward to this last month. My little brother, (who is like 6 foot 3 inches and not so little anymore) is getting married! He is 34 and has finally found the love of his life after many lonely years. He works with Wal-Mart as a manager and has basically been married to them for about 5 years. Imagine our family's joy that he found this lovely woman and they are going to make a life together.

Then he told me the date.

Then P31 posted the date for She Speaks.

The same date.

Well, obviously, I have to be at my brothers wedding. I want to be at my brother's wedding. I would not miss it for the world. Both of my kids are in the wedding, too. I am very excited about both the wedding and seeing my little ones all dressed up. My 3 year old in a tux! Really, this is probably more cuteness than I will be able to handle.

I thought for sure that God wanted me to be at this conference and that this was where I was going to learn how to improve both my speaking and writing skills. I do this a lot. Impose my own WANTS on to what God wants for me. I just love how I always think we are so in sync with what I want to do. Then He shows me what HE wants for me to do. And when I am obedient, I see what being in sync with God really means. Oh, how he must get a kick out of me sometimes.

Now, I don't believe the door to attend the conference is completely closed for me, just delayed a year. So, I guess for this year I will just have to practice my speaking and writing and read some books on how to improve them. And next year, if my other little brother doesn't get married that same weekend, I will plan to be at She Speaks.

I wish you would consider going to She Speaks! this year, though. I think it is going to be absolutely incredible! Especially if you blog or are in women's ministry. I have posted this post not only to come to terms with the fact that I will not be attending, but also so you might know of this wonderful opportunity. At least check it out. Maybe the door that is closed for me this year is wide open for you! Plus, North Carolina is BEAUTIFUL in June.

Well, I did it

You can see that I posted a submission for the P31 magazine contest. It really is not that I think this writing is so amazing or that it even has a shot of winning. There are over 100 entries so far and some really awesome posts in the contest. You should really take a few to jump over to Lysa's blog, check out the comments and some of these ladies stories.


But it was written from my heart and I guess, I thought to myself, "Why not?"


For most of my life I have been a follower. I have followed the crowd to many crazy and sometimes dark places. I followed my husband in a huge move to a large and strange city before we were married and called this brave. The truth of the matter is that I was in love and wanted to be close to him. I have said before I would move to the South Pole to be with him.


The best person I followed was a Christian, though. Someone who opened the door to the beautiful opportunity to know Jesus Christ. My life has not been the same since. I am a follower of a patient, loving and grace-giving God. Because of this, I suddenly have these spiritual gifts. One of them is leadership. Who me? Yes, me. Isn't it amazing what God can do with a person like me?


Having this gift of leadership is not always all it's cracked up to be. It requires fearlessness sometimes. It requires stepping out in faith all the time. It requires doing things that are out of your comfort zone.

Like submitting articles for possible rejection.

For me this was about being obedient to God. Who knows what he wants me to learn from the experience. Maybe I need to open myself up to some constructive criticism in my writing. Who really knows, but him? I never thought I would even entertain the thought of writing a blog. But here I am. Where will He take me next? I don't know, but as long as he is with me, let's go!

90 Day Health and Wealth Challenge

I have to give a little shameless plug for our business here. My husband works so hard and has for the last 15 years building it up. So, I really want to brag on it a little!

Especially for the new year we are working with a personal trainer and nutritionist to help our customers get healthier! We have new recipes and several cooking schools to show them how to cook healthier in their Saladmaster. It is a very exciting challenge to get a jumpstart on the new year. Read all about it HERE.

We are very lucky to have some talented and motivated people working hard on this project and we also thank them. It has been a true blessing to have them working with us. You know who you are!

And there is also a way folks can make some extra income, win trips and earn more Saladmaster if they want. Read more about that HERE.

I have Live Right in my sidebar which is the name of our business. We are authorized dealers of Saladmaster cookware which is by far the finest cookware you can buy. Plus, it helps you cook healthier, save precious vitamins and minerals in your food and save money on your grocery bill! So, read more about it if you get a chance.

There are Saladmaster dealers all over the world so if you think you would like to learn more about it and don't live locally, click on the main Saladmaster Inc. site and find an AUTHORIZED dealer near you. If you live locally, please click on the Live Right website to schedule your night out of the kitchen! If you are already a customer - THANK YOU and please sign up to attend a cooking class and check out the new recipes.

Okay, that's my plug. Thanks for reading!

Mountains out of Molehills

I have a friend who says that worries carry a lot more meaning in our heads than if we actually release them into conversation. Basically, I think she means that we can stew about something in our heads and make it a really big deal. We can make mountains out of molehills. Then we talk to someone about what we are worrying about and it seems not to be as big of a deal. So many times after I have vented a frustration or a worry to a friend, I will say something like, " I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a deal after all" or "This seems silly once I talk about it."

Today I was feeling overwhelmed about something and after a few conversations, I just got to worrying. I felt defeated in something before I really have even begun. I made a mountain in my mind out of a molehill - really more like an anthill. Later, I called a friend who is just solid in her advice. She is positive and best of all - a good listener. She listened and asked good questions as I got what was in my head out into the phone. After our conversation, I felt so much better. I felt like what I was worried about was really blown out of proportion in my head and that I had made a much bigger deal out of it than necessary. Good thing I didn't call someone and rant because of my own insecurities.

Too many times I speak too soon about something and my words hurt because I have not thought through them. I am living proof of what James speaks about and the spark that can set a forest fire ablaze. Many a forest fires I have started with the spark of my fiery tongue.


So, ugh! Words. Keep them in or let them out? I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it is better to let them out , but let them out carefully. I didn't call my friend right away and I called a friend whom I knew would give me constructive advice. I did not call a friend to gossip about my earlier conversations or one that would only give advice that would feed my ego. I called one who would have all parties best interest in mind - not just mine.

I waited until I was calmed down a bit and most importantly prayed that God would ease my anxieties. Then I called her, we talked and I felt better.

It reminded me of Psalm 37:8 - Be still before the Lord...
I love this translation in the Message of Psalm 37:8-9 - Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes—it only makes things worse. Cool your pipes! Trash your wrath! I love that Eugene Peterson.

The back page of my bible is covered in verses about the tongue. Frankly, I have a big mouth. I am passionate, easily excitable and often do not think or pray before I speak. I have learned many hard lessons by this little personality flaw and God really does use them to refine me. Praise this good God who sees past my flaws, opens my eyes to the lessons and loves me the whole time. And thank goodness for the friends who let me get those big mountains out of my head and back to the molehill where it belongs.

Fill 'er Up!

I especially love doing 2 activities during my week. I love my women's small group/bible study and I LOVE my kickboxing class at the gym. I often find myself giving up one or the other to do something else, though.


It is not like the other activities I give them up for are not really important. Like two weeks ago it was my son's Halloween parade and songfest at school and last week it was painting a friends house that recently flooded or sometimes coffee with a friend. While these activities fill me up in special ways, I miss what I have given up. So, this week I struggled with this and I felt selfish. I have made myself believe that my favorite activities are selfish because they are all about me. Honestly, I was feeling resentful of the things that took my away.


In reality, I have made my favorite activities negotiable. I have given others reason to believe they are flexible because I have told them so by either my words or my actions. I have led them to believe that my small group and my kickboxing class are not that important and that other activities can trump them.


This is what I have come to realize, though. Those 2 activities fill me up so I can be a better person to everyone. And this is what I give up when I miss them.


1. Fellowship and friendship

2. Spiritual exercise and growth

3. Physical exercise

4. Stress release

5. Much needed time to myself.

6. Commitment to the women in my group

So, why do I give them up? I can come up with a couple reasons:

1. I am a mother and most moms put EVERYONE before themselves. We just are naturally caretakers and the nurturers of the home. This is not necessarily a healthy thing to do, but alas, my mom did it and still does. Many of my mom friends do it and so do I.

2. I am a Christ follower and believe I am supposed to put others before myself. Yeah, this one is the one I struggle with the most. I don't struggle with it because I don't put others needs ahead of my own. I struggle with it because I do it too much. And I end up feeling drained and even sometimes resentful. NOT because of what I have done for others, but because I am not taking care of myself.

Someone reminded me this week. Jesus took lots of time to himself to rest. God wants us to lead and start our week from a place of rest. In Genesis each day is defined by evening and then morning. We rest in the evening and start our day fresh - renewed and rested. That is why activities that renew us and give us rest should come first so we can serve our families and friends better. It is my goal to not miss these activities that fill me up. I am a nicer person and have more energy to serve others more because of these activities.

It is like a gas tank in a car. The car needs to be filled up with gas to go. My small group and exercise are like gas in my car.

Except today. L is home sick from school with a fever. Today, my car sits in the garage while I take care of my little sick boy. That trumps it all of course.

If you are reading this and feeling drained, ask yourself the question, "What fills me up?" What is the gas in your car? Then find some time to do it!

Courage in Leadership

Last week, I had to present a synopsis of a chapter from a book I read about leadership.
This is an outline of what I presented and wanted to share:

Next Generation Leader - Five Essentials For Those Who Will Shape The Future.
Andy Stanley http://www.northpoint.org/

Leadership is synonymous with Courage. You have to be courageous to be a leader. Courageous leaders do the following four things where others might not.

1. Change
Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage. --Anais Nin
Progress requires change and growth requires progress.
Courage to act on what needs to be changed defines a leader.
Leaders take people places they’ve never been before.
Leaders are not always the first to see the need for change, but they are the first to act. And once they move away from the pack, they are positioned to lead.

2. Risk
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.- Anais Nin
Courage is not necessarily the absence of fear.
Leaders generally regret missed opportunities, not risks taken.
Eventually a leader’s lust for progress overwhelms his reluctance to take risks.
Failure is part of success.

Think back to a missed opportunity and to a failure? Do you have more regrets for the missed opportunity or the failure?

3. Opportunity
“Choose a man for yourselves and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will become your servants; but if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall become our servants and serve us.” 1 Samuel 17:8-9 (Story of David and Goliath)

Where there is great fear there is often great opportunity.
Identifying and acting on opportunities define leadership - For instance, David was had fear of Goliath like everyone else but he seized the opportunity to become great and went on even though he was fearful. Everyone else saw it - he acted on it.

4. Caution
God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.

Leaders worth following are always careful.
Leaders understand the unique roles of confidence and caution. Courage requires both. David’s caution did not keep him from the battle, but neither did he allow his confidence to blind him the need to select his stones with care.

Are you careful or fearful in your leadership?

Conclusion
1. The Courage to say No!
Saying no can be the ultimate self-care. --Claudia Black

Opportunity does not equal obligation.
Create a "Stop Doing" list.
Good opportunities can divert from one great opportunity!
Fear keeps us from saying no!

2. Facing Reality
Refusing to accept reality is called denial - it is a sickness and unhealthy.
We can lose sight of what is actually happening around us.
Leaders worth following face reality even if embarrassing.

3. Dream
Dream no small dreams, for they stir not the hearts of men.

Must allow your mind to dream of what could be.
No brackets on thinking.
What could it be? What should it be?